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My wife and I are ready for counseling, but I have no idea how to find a marriage counselor. There are numerous MC's listed in my area but I am lost as how best to select one. Are there certifications I should be looking for. Is there some kind of better business bureau that rates MC's. I'm not comfortable asking friends for advice as its too personal an issue and I don't want to embarrass them. This is our last chance at rekindling our marriage and I want to pick the right counselor and not end up going through a revolving door of MC's. My sense is that just leads to arguments with your spouse as you try push for the MC that's most sympathetic to your point of view.
 

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I would look for one who is capable of looking at both sides clearly and equally. That's what hubby and I are currently doing.
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From what I hear just like you find a good doctor, by trial and error. Be sure to ask a lot of questions of him/her. Interview them on the first visit before you even state your problem.
 

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Wow I just wanted to add, it's not something that's easy to do it seems.

I've done a lot of the searching for marriage counseling. We've been to counseling twice in years past, but with our current issues it's perhaps been more critical. We started seeing a counselor, but with all due respect to her I don't think we got our money's worth..

Now I've searched for another marriage counselor, and this time my wife insisted we can't spend the kind of money it takes to pay for counseling out of pocket and I must find one that's in network. Our insurance is apparently not the best. One promising sounding counselor declined us if we depended on insurance because she was soon to be discontinuing her acceptance of our insurance. I've called 6 counselors out of the list of in-network choices we have, 1 called back - fortunately it was a top pick.

My approach has been to try to find counselors who are listed on Psychology Today's website, cross-reference with my insurance who provides online customizable directories of in-network providors. And when I find a name, I run a google search to see if they're listed on any of the various sites where patients can review or rate doctors.

The counselor we saw listenned alot but gave us no guidance. Since we stopped seeing her, I've done more to figure out our issues than she did.
 

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Try asking your doctor if he knows one, if anything you're dealing with is medically related. We asked my wife's gynecologist for a good sex therapist and we've been happy with his recommendation.

Barring that, I'd look for someone who has at least 10+ years of experience, but not someone who is going to retire in the next year.
 

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I don't go by the title. I've seen psychiatrists with tons of degrees and they did nothing more than write me a prescription and send me away. Some of the best counseling I've ever received was with certified marriage and family therapists without a huge degree on their wall. Right now I'm seeing a psychiatric nurse and he's excellent.

I'd talk to them on the phone first, or have one session and see what you think. It should be someone who's objective and insightful. Someone who will really listen and validate both sides, but also point out when someone is being unreasonable. To know whether someone is like this, the best thing to do is see them, and if it's off, don't be afraid to switch.

Best of luck to you!
 
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