[Dictum Veritas]

Not really the response I was after, but I figured I'd see a couple of them. And I understand them completely. Trust me - I thought about the same thing. How could I be ready to just forgive and move on? It's because I still love my wife. I still have a hope that we can move past this.

As for the other guy - he did regret it afterwards (like I said, I had seen the convos). It was a heat of the moment thing.

Which is why I'm willing to forgive. Yes - she says she didn't regret it at the time but that was immediately afterwards. I don't know how she's feeling now about it. It only happened the once (due to work schedules they haven't been able to get back together).

Look, it's your life. you have to live with your choices. Your wife chose to treat you like shark sheisse on the bottom of the ocean floor. You want to let her know sheisse floats.

Not going to work, she'll walk all over you as she has.

If you are ready to take your testicles out of her purse, we'll be here to help, in the mean time enjoy the sheisse-show your life is.

Changing it is your choice, not doing so is your choice as well.

 

[Dictum Veritas]

With evidence and divorce papers.

I knew I like Gus's posts for a reason.

 

[Dictum Veritas]

He's been sitting on this for a month! How many times has she blown him since the first time!? THEE second I found that level of irrefutable proof we would be taking the kids to grandmas and having a "talk".

To be honest, and only because it happened, the moment I had my proof, she went out the door. I know the legal beagles would cry havoc, I don't care. She was out and 20 years later, she tried to talk to me through my sister. My sister asked me if she could have my contact info. "F... No!" That was it!

My lawyer spoke to her lawyer during the divorce and I had to "break in" to my own house once to re-establish residency. I may have had sex with her one last time a day before the divorce "for old time sake", but that was that.

Get a woman who doesn't think it's your turn now, but that you are the one. Would it last, who knows, but literally no other woman has cheated on you. That makes them better than her.

 

[Dictum Veritas]

I am with you Dictum. I'd be dropping her bags off today, prior to even talking to her or the OM about it. The lawyers will come, but there is no reason to stand for this for even 1 minute in my book.

Scorched earth would be the path.

It's not easy, but very little in life worth it is.

 

[Dictum Veritas]

yeah, but if your personality is not aggressive, nor assertive, that sort of action is pretty foreign to your way of thinking.

I was a ***** before this happened to me. There is nothing like another man railing your wife to bring the lion to the fore.

 

[Dictum Veritas]

You can blow her life up, blow his life up, whatever...All it's going to do is ramp up the drama, with no positive end result other than potential retribution...Heck, maybe the other guy gets so pissed off over it that he knocks you the hell out, or takes a Louisville slugger to your car.. Then you can escalate it further....and continue the garbage for who knows how long...Plus I wouldn't want my kids to go through all that...But that's me..

There is nothing to really negotiate or think about... You have all you need....in my view....Get your ducks in a row and serve her...Show her your proof and tell her there is no negotiation..Make sure your kids are protected and do not get them in the middle of it....

Whether you like it or not, you won't get her out of your life completely because of the kids...You need to handle this like a Boss and don't show weakness...Whether you decide to create all the drama by blowing everything up is your choice, but it won't come without a lot of stress, yelling and screaming, and will only delay the inevitable...Personally you will look stronger in the end just swiftly kicking her to the curb and moving on..,But do as you wish...

Hang in there, and take heed of all the good advice already given...

Here is another perspective. Maximum drama avoids drama. I went nuclear. I exposed, got her fired, got the AP fired did everything to blow them up. I walked out golden. Why? I hired the best shark lawyer I could get and didn't care about the outcome.

I have to say this, we didn't have kids, that would have changed my mind (a little).

I kept the house (didn't want it because it was tainted, but spite). I kept my money and paid her $ 300 (good riddance money) once off.

It can be done. You don't have to be a nice guy unless it sinks you otherwise.

 

[Dictum Veritas]

OP, Love is NOT enough, it never has been and it never will be.

Hope isn't a plan, it never was and it never will be.

I get it, your reality sucks, but you need to deal with reality and you are not doing that.

Wish I knew that 20 years ago, this is worth the ink it is penned in.

 

[Dictum Veritas]

It is likely the OM is ecstatic about his actions. He pulled one over you and, unless you have proof of him being involved, there is no benefit to confronting him. It could result in a lawsuit from him to you and you could lose that lawsuit. I'd only confront if you're not concerned about jailtime. Then, you do what you need to do. If you confront him, he'll just laugh behind your back. He knows that he hurt you and he doesn't care, regardless of what he might say to you.

It's just your wife you have to deal with. There, dump her and move on. If she shows contrition, on your terms, then you could consider reconciliation. However, that reconciliation should not happen for a couple of years, as she has to earn her way back into your life.

I like to stack the garbage on the curb for pickup.

 

[Dictum Veritas]

I seriously doubt it was just a BJ. What is every guy thinking about while receiving one? The main course! BJ is just the appetizer. Hard to imagine this guy going “oh gee golly this was such a mistake! I feel bad! Let me tell this woman in my apartment who is willing to do whatever I want to go home before this goes any further!”.

If my pants are down, Johnny-one-eye is going IN! There' no way a woman with her lips around it is not getting the full treatment. There is no way this stopped with a BJ. That's a fairy tale in a sewer rat magazine.