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Ive posted on this forum before. My WW was the nurse that was thinking about travel nursing. Long story short, I caught her cheating with a guy she knew from facebook. It consisted of yahoo messenger texts, phone calls, and video calls. It started fairly quickly to sexting. The messages I saw were highly sexual....vulgar...the language and the context was as if a teenagers were talking to each other. When I found out, it had been going o for 2 months. I confronted her, she explained that she was unhappy, etc.
I decided to leave, packed up my stuff out of our house and left. We texted each other but she didnt have any remorse. After 3 days of this...I exposed to some friends and family. She was furious....
After 2 weeks of me gone, I snooped and saw that she had signed up for 3 dating sites. She was getting all sorts of attentionfrom these new guys while at the same time still in connection with the guy from facebook.

After about 2 weeks after i left and knowing about the dating sites, I contacted a lawyer and started to see what my options were.
We exchanged plans on how we were to handle our divorce.

Then about 5 weeks after me leaving, I get an email from her asking me to move back home.....but to live as roommates. The reasoning being she wanted to split the mortgage until she left for her travel nurse job.
I invited her to a marriage counselling session....she shows up....we talk about reconciling.etc.
So ive moved back home...that was August 31.

Since then she has yet to explain anything....nor have I gotten any real remorse. It is almost as if she wants us to forget about all this andmove on.

Since ive moved back home she has had some obgyn issues. A period that has lasted since ive been back home. I haven't pushed any reconcillation issues because of this. Doctor said she needs a D&C.

So here I am in a surgery waiting room for my WW having a D&C.

I knew her password to her phone as of this morning. Its been the same for the past few weeks. I saw he one time swipe it in and I memorized the pattern.
But today while in her preop room I think she saw me watching her access her phone. I went to the cafe to get something to eat. She knew I'd have to hold on to her belongings while she is in surgery.

I checked the swipe code and she must have changex while I was in the cafe.

It feels so weird that even though I am her for her, she feels that it is important to change her access code to her phone.

Maybe I know my answer....she doesn't want me reading her emails.
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You went back to her for that, why? She's got the power still so you're still the sucker who help pays 1/2 the bills.

A little blunt but it's the truth. You should have never agreed to go back and help her out financially, that will not make her love you more. That will actually make her see you as a weaker man with no backbone.

And you ask why she shows no remorse.....Don't need to explain things to someone who will always back down and let me win.
 

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You are right...she does not want you seeing her emails. All that you have posted points to the fact that she did ask you to be a roommate and nothing more. She is using you to pay for the mortgage and that is it.

True Reconciliation involves honesty, transparency and remorse on her part. I DO NOT see where you have received any of that. I think that you need to move on.
 

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Why are you torturing your self? How can you just be room mates when you have these strong feeling and yet she wouldn't return these same feeling?

I mean its one thing to be there for someone and completely different to be used by someone!

So, were are all these other guys, why are they not there for her?

It suchs, now that she is having health issues she goes to you but when she want sex and attention she goes to some strang e on a web site.....It kinda pisses me off to see you get treated this way.

You do realize there are women out there that are not only physicaly health but emotionally heath and will give you the good things you diserve, instead of spending the day in a hospital waiting room.

I hope you know what her recovery time will be cause this will be the amount of time it takes to disgards you once again!

Again she has all these guys that she emails back and forth and yet today they are no were in site.

I bet you $20.00 she starts texting her boyfriends while you are driving her home from the hopital.

Man, how much can you you take?
 

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She's having a D&C, so was she pregnant and the baby died? I'm an expert on medicine, but I don't know any other reason why a woman has a D&C.
 

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Why on earth did you go home?

The only reason you had to go home, was to kick her out and then live there.

Man up already and handle your business. You already know shes cheating.

She never stopped her affair, so its nit like shes cheating anew.

Kick her out.
 

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Ive posted on this forum before. My WW was the nurse that was thinking about travel nursing. Long story short, I caught her cheating with a guy she knew from facebook. It consisted of yahoo messenger texts, phone calls, and video calls. It started fairly quickly to sexting. The messages I saw were highly sexual....vulgar...the language and the context was as if a teenagers were talking to each other. When I found out, it had been going o for 2 months. I confronted her, she explained that she was unhappy, etc.
I decided to leave, packed up my stuff out of our house and left. We texted each other but she didnt have any remorse. After 3 days of this...I exposed to some friends and family. She was furious....
After 2 weeks of me gone, I snooped and saw that she had signed up for 3 dating sites. She was getting all sorts of attentionfrom these new guys while at the same time still in connection with the guy from facebook.

After about 2 weeks after i left and knowing about the dating sites, I contacted a lawyer and started to see what my options were.
We exchanged plans on how we were to handle our divorce.

Then about 5 weeks after me leaving, I get an email from her asking me to move back home.....but to live as roommates. So you are okay with just being roomates with your WIFE seriously!!!!!!!!! The reasoning being she wanted to split the mortgage until she left for her travel nurse job.You know you did the wrong thing here because you are trying to justify your actions with a ridiculous excuse.
I invited her to a marriage counselling session....she shows up....we talk about reconciling.etc.
So ive moved back home...I just got and ice pack because I slammed my head on the table.that was August 31.

Since then she has yet to explain anything....nor have I gotten any real remorse. It is almost as if she wants us to forget about all this andmove on.

Since ive moved back home she has had some obgyn issues. A period that has lasted since ive been back home. I haven't pushed any reconcillation issues because of this. Doctor said she needs a D&C.

So here I am in a surgery waiting room for my WW having a D&C.

I knew her password to her phone as of this morning. Its been the same for the past few weeks. I saw he one time swipe it in and I memorized the pattern.
But today while in her preop room I think she saw me watching her access her phone. I went to the cafe to get something to eat. She knew I'd have to hold on to her belongings while she is in surgery.

I checked the swipe code and she must have changex while I was in the cafe.

It feels so weird that even though I am her for her, she feels that it is important to change her access code to her phone.

Maybe I know my answer....she doesn't want me reading her emails.Duh who would want their "roommate" reading their emails.
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Listen I am not going to beat around the bush or be nice. You are ignoring the problems and are letting your emotions and desperation cloud your judgement. I hope you aren't offended by what I have said but sometimes people need a wake up call and I would definitely say it is time for a wake up call.
She is your WIFE not your roommate. She is using you and you are acting like a whipped puppy. You were in a prime position to wreck her multiple affairs and take away her CAKE. Instead you move back in and help her pay for CHEATING on you.

STOP this and wake up. You need to pack up and leave again. You don't give her a dime unless she has to have it to survive. IF the house is in your name you leave now pack her things for her. When she gets home send her out the door. Your house your rules If she knows her stuff she will call the cops but canceling her phone and internet would be a start for me. If she is going to cheat let it be on her dime not yours.

It is time to Man UP and tear this woman to pieces. This woman is probably having a PA right now. Look up "No More Mr. Nice Guy", "the 180", and start standing up for yourself. Stop letting her manipulate you.
Move back out and cut her off. Stop answering the phone, stop replying to texts, and start the D process so she knows that you aren't going to be her sad, depressed BH, she can lure into doing whatever she wants. Good luck

oh and to answer the title of the thread "OH HELLL NO"
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Let me try to answer some questions...
No she wasn't pregnant. We went to a fertility clinic for IVF back in January. We were told that her ovaries didn't respond to the medication. So our only other options were to adopt or use a donor egg.
Well she didn't want a donor egg if she couldn't have her own biological child.
So our plan was to try some other medications to see if they would work. The plan was to try it out in june or so.
Turns out the affair started in mid May or so.
At the time I had no idea why, but she became distant and ignoring me.
She started sleeping in our spare bedroom as well.
After I found out, I understood why she did these things....because of her secret relationship.

I did snoop right after I moved back home. I saw a message she sent to the guy from facebook. She tells him that she is trying to work it oout with me. She forwards this message to another email account. She also tells him that she will keep in touch with him periodically to see how he is doing. She sent this right after I movec back.

Since I've moved back home she has told me she loves me. She has even booked a cruise for us a few days before Christmas.
So I am disappointed that she is trying to still hide things from me.
I have a spy software on her phone
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Why after 5 weeks she wants you back? Oh ya the mortgage....

So the roommate deal is off the table and you guys are now a happily married couple except for one thing.....her secret life?

How can you share your wife like that?
 

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At the end of the day you need keep looking and find out what is really going on. I think its just a matter of time....hell who knows what will happen in a few months......

Is your name on the cruise ticket or is it open for who ever she desided to take?
 

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And you want to stay married to woman that pursues other men why?
Because he loves her and was shocked to find out what type of a person his wife had become? Or always was, but hid it well?
 

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Leave the hospital now...

Go home and clean out your closet and drawers, pack up and leave...

She absolutely has no intention of being transparent for you. She is still clinging to the hope of rekindling her affair.

Your marriage is all but dead.
 

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Jeff,
Disappointed is the only feeling your have? Brother I would be be mad as hell, and wouldn;t tolorate it.....lifes to short!
This to me sounds like a 'British' understatement use of the word 'disappointed.'

A quiet, hidden, raging fury disappointment?
 

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Discussion Starter #18
Yeah I can see that things seem weird......its as if she wants to forget about all that had happened and go back to our old life that we had.

She doesn't know that I am aware of her dating site. As far as I can tell, since I moved back in, she has stopped responding to any messages that she receives from the dating site. She does though visit tbe site to read the messages. That has waned off but she did access the site yesterday....not by responding but just reading a message or two.
Still hurts to see her do this. I know she was addicted to all the attention she was receiving. I guess so, since some of the profile pics she uploaded were of her in lingerie. So these guys pick up on that and instantly write her.
Her account on the dating site is set to expire on October 31. If she renews, well then I would have another answer to how she really feels.
But why book a cruise (3000$) and still be secretive about her cell phone access code. I mean, changing it while you are in preop?
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Yeah I can see that things seem weird......its as if she wants to forget about all that had happened and go back to our old life that we had.

She doesn't know that I am aware of her dating site. As far as I can tell, since I moved back in, she has stopped responding to any messages that she receives from the dating site. She does though visit tbe site to read the messages. That has waned off but she did access the site yesterday....not by responding but just reading a message or two.
Still hurts to see her do this. I know she was addicted to all the attention she was receiving. I guess so, since some of the profile pics she uploaded were of her in lingerie. So these guys pick up on that and instantly write her.
Her account on the dating site is set to expire on October 31. If she renews, well then I would have another answer to how she really feels.
But why book a cruise (3000$) and still be secretive about her cell phone access code. I mean, changing it while you are in preop?
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Could she have had some kind of a breakdown? Seriously. She might need a measure of professional help. And perhaps a little more than MC.
 
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