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We talked last night. I told her that as much as I tried I have never been able to shake the thing with the friend. I told her I would try counseling and try to fix things. As of right now there is no trust. I also gently addressed her moodiness and over reactions, I asked her to go to the counselor alone if she felt like it. Maybe they can help her out. She thought that was a dumb idea. She then said that we are both miserable and maybe it's time that I moved out. I was like are you serious? She said yes and that I should move in with my Mom since the cost of an apartment wouldnt be practical at the moment. This is exactly what I should have told her when she had her incident but I guess only one of us is expected to try to get over things. I don't even know where to go from here.
Galaxy1,

It sounds to me like your wife is driving the bus here (or at least has her hands firmly on the wheel) and she is driving it over a cliff. Not real clear to me that she is actually qualified to drive although I'm sure a lot of people would argue with me over that.

One of my mentors has proposed that a woman's number one need in marriage is security. Not so much financial security, although lots of women need that, but emotional security. Women go through a lot of emotional stress for a number of reasons, mostly having to do with conceiving, carrying, birthing and raising kids. Add that to having been raised by their moms. He goes on to say that a woman feels emotionally secure when she knows she can depend on her husband's love for her no matter what kind of emotional upheaval she is going through.

So if this guy is right, it sounds to me like you may be blaming your wife for being herself
 

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I can't comment on your wife's motivations but I can say that how you feel is entirely in your hands. Forget about fairness and forget about equality. When we dwell on our partner's bad points, we make ourselves miserable and dissatisfied. When we dwell on their good points, we make ourselves happy. Being a man myself, I may be shallow and superficial but I really like a good looking woman laying beside me at night
 
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