I'd love to comment on this! I had deleted my response so this is going to much shorter (too much was typed)I just left my house a few days ago and now I have been doing a lot of thinking and need some advise. Here is my story.
I have been married for 4 years and with her for 5 more. We do not have any children so that makes things a lot simplier. I haev been thinking of taking some time off for a while but since she threw me out it made it easy. It's not that I have fallen out of love but have been growing apart for a while. We are independent people and it's more apparent. This last arguement stemmed from a previous arguement over responsibility. We both are stubborn on certain things and don't work well together on things as I would expect. She is a good person and neither of us has ever cheated or anything like that. I am seeing differences that are making me want to go our seperate ways. She is a lot more selfish and I have a open heart to people and situations and that leads to many arguements. I feel I may have set the pace for some of our money arguements as She is a saver and I am always broke but I pay 90% of the bills and she does not so it's easy to save. She never lived on her own so she never experianced the costs of things.
What has really gotten to me is the way she talks down to me and treats me like a child rather than a equal. When we argue I am the type who wants to walk away for a bit to think and she wants to deal with it now. It has gotten to the point that I am not happy being around her and even find myself stalling to get home so I don't have to deal with her as much.I am sick of arguements. We have discussed our problems many times but it just keeps things quiet for a short time. Also she is very career driven and we do want kids but She has made it clear she will never be a stay at home mother as we earlier discussed.
I feel that Iv'e been in that comfort zone and I like what we have like our weekend property, I enjoy her family etc so I have stuck around just expecting for things to change. One other issue is her Mother works for me so that is going to cause some hurt one way or another.
I have been through some financial hardships and lost my last house to foreclosure and the house we now live in is in her name. During the last arguement she told me to leave her house even though I pay the mortgage and most bills.
After reading it seems like my problems are minor but to me they are not, My questions is for example with counsleing what's the chance things will be a good long fix? I just belive that some of our issues are maybe just too big to deal with and maybe my real soul mate is there will less issues. I know all couples have problems from time to time but I am at my boiling point. Here is my main question from others experiance, How much fixing can be done and when is it time to just realize maybe we are both good people with different perspectives in life? I will update as things go along so maybe I can help others through my situation.
