Separated from WH because of his long term infidelity. He walks away from his wife and child while I am stuck with ALL responsibility.. (financial, marital and parental)
I am the stable one who holds down the fort, deals with the bank to loan mod my mortgage, be the stable together parent to my 12 yr old daughter, juggle pick ups/drop offs to school, hande all the remaining debt and prepare the house for sale in January.
All this while holding down a stressful full time Managment job in IT. Over the last 6 months the entire top management of my dept was let go and a new regime has been placed. ALl Male, All Foreign, All boys club.
Now on top of what I am dealing with at home, all the marital debt and divorce, now at 51 and in the IT business for 30 years I have to prove myself all over again to this new **** head management.
I was doing well emotionally. Dealing with the reality of my marriage ending and trying to be civil with STBXH while out in public at school events. But lately I feel like I am going to crack..
Work is chaos and when I get to my car at the end of the day, I cry the whole way home. I get sad that I have know one to watch over me except me.
I am trying to do things that I like, art classes, getting together with friends but money is tight and I am a full time taxi cab for daughter. STBXH never calls and rarely sees his child.
I am losing sleep, waking up at 4 AM and always fearing when the next ball is going to drop. Very hard for me to play the victim but I can't seem to cut a break.
The end of my marriage is the ABSOLUTE hardest thing I have ever had to deal with and I feel so down.
I so feel for you. If possible, find a stress management counselor as soon as possible. I was on that stress carrousel for an extended period of time. It nearly took my life and left me disabled. Stress disorders are very real. Take care of yourself.
to top this night off, emailed STBXH to ask to take daughter next Saturday. I actually have plans to go see my nephew and wanted my sister and I to have a girls night. STBXH replies that he cant watch child because he will be in Kentucky next weekend. I am floored. The man is always broke, always unreliable, and compulsive gambler. Now he is going to Keeneland horsetrack in KY for the weekend when he barely pays his bills and walked away from any marital or parental responsibilities.
Must be nice!!! Meanwhile he is going to IC while I cover his health, dental and eye covereage.