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In my opinion not that much, and the limited help is not by the answer you need, instead by your talking and pouring out some stress.
There can be several reasons.
(1) You can hardly describe full story with all details. And most cases, tiny details are most important. Most comments are judgmental based on partial facts.
(2) Even if you tell full story, a lot of times, it cannot really help. The same word said, same action taken by one in the story, can be interpreted differently by people from different population, because each population with different educational background, professions, economic standards, religions, ...... all can affect.
(3) Some people seem to be very obsessed with certain stories, and want to feel the excitement by fitting you into his/her favorite story.
If you need help, you need seek for professional help. But you can release stress on this forum, and no more than this.

Also, I wonder people who post extremely long posts many each day, are they get paid from the forum or they are very rich, no need to work? The point is that often time (I did not go through a lot of threads though), they mistook, and the very long comments are based on wrong assumption.....

In any case, the forum is a place for people to release stress. In this sense, this is "good" forum.
Moreover, this seems like a place for some people to kill time and may be have some fun?

I decided not to come again, at least not so often.
TAM helped me to wake up and take control of my life at a time I felt completely helpless and adrift. It was incredibly painful to hear some things, but I appreciated those who took time to give feedback and provide another perspective. If I'd stayed in my comfort zone, my life would have been very different. I've gone from feeling like I was counting down the days waiting to die to building my future and looking forward to more stability.

You get what you give. If you come looking for people to kiss your ass and tell you you're doing the right thing, then you're not going to get anything but a rude awakening.

Sorry it didn't work for you, but no need to be butthurt and deride people on your way out. Hopefully, you poke your head out of your bubble before the air runs out, good luck.
 

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Pro tip: If you think TAM isn't helpful or you don't like it, leave. I've made some friends here and actually gotten some help through PMing people. Maybe if the open forum is too harsh for you try picking out a few people and PMing them. If what you're doing isn't working, do something different. What I can guarantee is that throwing a fit will NOT help. Of that I can assure you.
 

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TAM helped me to wake up and take control of my life at a time I felt completely helpless and adrift. It was incredibly painful to hear some things, but I appreciated those who took time to give feedback and provide another perspective. If I'd stayed in my comfort zone, my life would have been very different. I've gone from feeling like I was counting down the days waiting to die to building my future and looking forward to more stability.

You get what you give. If you come looking for people to kiss your ass and tell you you're doing the right thing, then you're not going to get anything but a rude awakening.

Sorry it didn't work for you, but no need to be butthurt and deride people on your way out. Hopefully, you poke your head out of your bubble before the air runs out, good luck.
One thing everyone on TAM can count on:

if you are butthurt, TXTrini will let you know. It’s a scientific fact. 😂
 

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@Maia.2022 I think you're mostly right but it's going to depend on the person. Some people might have no one they can talk or vent to. For them, there is TAM. I do think you're going to get a lot of bad advice in a place like this, but you will also get some decent advice. I think it's up to the individual to be a bit discerning when they decide who's advice they should take to heart. There are a lot of people from many different walks of life so maybe the words of one person will resonate more for you than others.

One last thing. I do advise people to be careful how much information they put out there. There are a lot of crappy people on the internet with nothing better to do than to try and make other people as miserable as they are. Anything you share on here can be used against you.
 

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Everyone’s idea of “help” is different, too. Sometimes, you just need to know you’re not alone if you’re going through a difficult time, or maybe you want to pay it forward since you’ve gained support in the past. It’s really no different than advice you may get offline - cherry pick what makes sense for your situation.
This is true.

Additionally, sometimes people need to be called out on their own **** as well.

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk
 

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Discussion Starter · #47 ·
@Maia.2022 I think you're mostly right but it's going to depend on the person. Some people might have no one they can talk or vent to. For them, there is TAM. I do think you're going to get a lot of bad advice in a place like this, but you will also get some decent advice. I think it's up to the individual to be a bit discerning when they decide who's advice they should take to heart. There are a lot of people from many different walks of life so maybe the words of one person will resonate more for you than others.
I do agree with you.
In the end, even if you go to a counselor, you still need to do a lot of critical thinking to come up with a term what to do next or what to decide.
Yes, there are a few very sensible wise people on TAM whose advice can be helpful.
There are also quite a few very angry people, always ready to be very angry, or always very ready or very wish to see very miserable things. They are more passionate about fitting you into some stories than really giving any helpful advice. Also some very confident people, who think they know everything, can quickly grab dynamics after reading a few sentences.......

Even without any helpful advice, yes, talking on TAM without being identified, can release some stress when people are in desperate situation, and have no one to talk with.

To me, I think this can be a place to see what other people in different subpopulations are thinking, what can happen in bad kinds of marriage, how miserable life can it be if you make wrong choice,.....
I think I would read posts just like watching TV show.
I will not post anything to get advice, but might, if I have some thing general very curious about, I might post something to see what other people think about this.
 

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I do agree with you.
In the end, even if you go to a counselor, you still need to do a lot of critical thinking to come up with a term what to do next or what to decide.
Yes, there are a few very sensible wise people on TAM whose advice can be helpful.
There are also quite a few very angry people, always ready to be very angry, or always very ready or very wish to see very miserable things. They are more passionate about fitting you into some stories than really giving any helpful advice. Also some very confident people, who think they know everything, can quickly grab dynamics after reading a few sentences.......

Even without any helpful advice, yes, talking on TAM without being identified, can release some stress when people are in desperate situation, and have no one to talk with.

To me, I think this can be a place to see what other people in different subpopulations are thinking, what can happen in bad kinds of marriage, how miserable life can it be if you make wrong choice,.....
I think I would read posts just like watching TV show.
I will not post anything to get advice, but might, if I have some thing general very curious about, I might post something to see what other people think about this.
By definition posting on something you're curious about in your life to see what other persons think is looking for advice.

Your writing is improving quite a bit. Reminds me of another sporadic poster.
 

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Discussion Starter · #50 ·
It sounds like you're not happy with how your obsession with a neighbor thread worked out.

When you tire of playing Yoda and acting like you know everything, Disney has an opening for Goofy.
Sorry to disappoint you.
This is exactly what I was talking about. Why are you desperately seeking for unhappy miserable stories?

In fact, it is going very well (we started talking again, and will be organizing Escape room with some other friends), and I realized how "Much" help I got from here.
There are several reasons.
(1) Some people are miserable here and desperately seek for misery stories, and try to fit everything to their stories.
(2) People are mostly among different sub populations than what I and they guy belong to, and cannot understand our logic and standard.
(3) Some are just very lack of sense, wisdom, IQ, and some others are just mean miserable sags.

but to be fair there are a few wise people, but those seem to be busy, not too much coming here.

But I think the reason I started critical thinking about this site is what I saw in all responses to the poor insecure jealous guy's post.
 

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Sorry to disappoint you.
This is exactly what I was talking about. Why are you desperately seeking for unhappy miserable stories?

In fact, it is going very well (we started talking again, and will be organizing Escape room with some other friends), and I realized how "Much" help I got from here.
There are several reasons.
(1) Some people are miserable here and desperately seek for misery stories, and try to fit everything to their stories.
(2) People are mostly among different sub populations than what I and they guy belong to, and cannot understand our logic and standard.
(3) Some are just very lack of sense, wisdom IQ.

but to be fair there are a few wise people, but those seem to be busy, not too much coming here.

But I think the reason I started critical thinking about this site is what I saw in all responses to the poor insecure jealous guy's post.
I don't see how you'd think @Blondilocks was disappointed by your post. How did you get there?
 

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Discussion Starter · #52 ·
I don't see how you'd think @Blondilocks was disappointed by your post. How did you get there?
How did he get there first point, right?
Obviously that is what he wished. lol

I had few min to kill. Now, I am back to work.
do not have too much time to kill.

Why do you post that much? What is the point. Most of your posts are not making any positive contribution, but try to fit things in your miserable stories. Does this make you feel better?
Why dont you spend time that can really improve your life?
 

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How did he get there first point, right?
Obviously that is what he wished. lol

I had few min to kill. Now, I am back to work.
do not have too much time to kill.

Why do you post that much? What is the point. Most of your posts are not making any positive contribution, but try to fit things in your miserable stories. Does this make you feel better?
Why dont you spend time that can really improve your life?
He?
 

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How did he get there first point, right?
Obviously that is what he wished. lol

I had few min to kill. Now, I am back to work.
do not have too much time to kill.

Why do you post that much? What is the point. Most of your posts are not making any positive contribution, but try to fit things in your miserable stories. Does this make you feel better?
Why dont you spend time that can really improve your life?
You're writing skills are really improving as you go along, do you do the same types of posts on multiple forums/sites for entertainment?

Looks that way but welcome to TAM.
 

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Discussion Starter · #55 ·
You're writing skills are really improving as you go along, do you do the same types of posts on multiple forums/sites for entertainment?

Looks that way but welcome to TAM.
On that crying Sunday, I posted on two sites.
But now, i realized how silly thing I did.

BTW. Why are you willing to spend time to type these posts?
There can be 2 reasons. One help others and the other you make money or feel good.
Obviously not the first one. Then can only be second one.

How miserable life one must be living to feel good by posting the kind of posts you posted?
Don't you have a career that you can enjoy pursuing, or good friends, or just family life that can make you feel good daily or just keep you occupied engaged, not by some silly posts that you think you hurt some people and made some people more misrable than you.
Most likely no one would really think more than the fact that how miserable this guy is
 

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On that crying Sunday, I post on two sites.
But now, i realized how silly thing I did.

BTW. Why are you willing to spend time to type these post?
There can be 2 reasons. One help others and the other you make money or feel good.
Obviously not the first one. Then can only be second one.

How miserable life one must be living to feel good by this?
Don't you have a career that you can enjoy pursuing, or good friends, or just family life that can make you feel good, not by some silly posts that you think you hurt some people and made some people more misrable than you.
Most likely no one would really think more than the fact that how miserable this guy is
You did it. I'm wounded and may never recover. Where have you been all this time, you could have saved me years of grief. 🤣🤣🤣

Entertaining you are padiwan, granted.
It's the fact you state TAM is horrible and why would anyone be here yet you're still posting that's interesting.
 

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Discussion Starter · #57 ·
You did it. I'm wounded and may never recover. Where have you been all this time, you could have saved me years of grief. 🤣🤣🤣

Entertaining you are padiwan, granted.
It's the fact you state TAM is horrible and why would anyone be here yet you're still posting that's interesting.
Wrote to answer your questions.
Now again I realized it was silly. Just like talking to another species that cannot understand same language.
It was silly, but I have habit of answering when people ask.

Just my thoughts.
Some people are some how just genuinely strangely mean. I think it might be because their miserable life.
What I cannot understand is why don't they try to spend time on doing things that can make life better.

Like for myself, usually during day, I spend time on my work, and if my algorithm can get patent, I will be able to make more money, and can by a house, fancy holidays.....
During weekend and holidays, i think about how to enjoy things, meet with friends, go to events, or organize games, like escape room....
 

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Wrote to answer your questions.
Now again I realized it was silly. Just like talking to another species that cannot understand same language.
It was silly, but I have habit of answering when people ask.

Just my thoughts.
Some people are some how just genuinely strangely mean. I think it might be because their miserable life.
What I cannot understand is why don't they try to spend time on doing things that can make life better.

Like for myself, usually during day, I spend time on my work, and if my algorithm can get patent, I will be able to make more money, and can by a house, fancy holidays.....
During weekend and holidays, i think about how to enjoy things, meet with friends, go to events, or organize games, like escape room....
When I said welcome to TAM I meant it.

There are a lot of historical posts and current posts that can share insights on things you may be going through in relationships and life. Many posters have experienced a great many human relationships similarities and help others see through things by offering different perspectives.

That is available here should you choose to hang around. Certainly your call.
 

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Discussion Starter · #59 ·
When I said welcome to TAM I meant it.

There are a lot of historical posts and current posts that can share insights on things you may be going through in relationships and life. Many posters have experienced a great many human relationships similarities and help others see through things by offering different perspectives.

That is available here should you choose to hang around. Certainly your call.
Thanks then.
I think the first reply to this thread is a very wise man. He said something like people are different, ......
I do not like everything about my friends, and friendships have ups and downs. We are social animals, and we need to interact in daily life. We cannot live isolated life. If we want to interact only with people we perfectly like, then we must isolate ourselves.
I will try to like the good side of people here, and ignore things that I do not like.
 
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