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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
In my opinion not that much, and the limited help is not by the answer you need, instead by your talking and pouring out some stress.
There can be several reasons.
(1) You can hardly describe full story with all details. And most cases, tiny details are most important. Most comments are judgmental based on partial facts.
(2) Even if you tell full story, a lot of times, it cannot really help. The same word said, same action taken by one in the story, can be interpreted differently by people from different population, because each population with different educational background, professions, economic standards, religions, ...... all can affect.
(3) Some people seem to be very obsessed with certain stories, and want to feel the excitement by fitting you into his/her favorite story.
If you need help, you need seek for professional help. But you can release stress on this forum, and no more than this.

Also, I wonder people who post extremely long posts many each day, are they get paid from the forum or they are very rich, no need to work? The point is that often time (I did not go through a lot of threads though), they mistook, and the very long comments are based on wrong assumption.....

In any case, the forum is a place for people to release stress. In this sense, this is "good" forum.
Moreover, this seems like a place for some people to kill time and may be have some fun?

I decided not to come again, at least not so often.
 

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In my opinion not that much, and the limited help is not by the answer you need, instead by your talking and pouring out some stress.
There can be several reasons.
(1) You can hardly describe full story with all details. And most cases, tiny details are most important. Most comments are judgmental based on partial facts.
(2) Even if you tell full story, a lot of times, it cannot really help. The same word said, same action taken by one in the story, can be interpreted differently by people from different population, because each population with different educational background, professions, economic standards, religions, ...... all can affect.
(3) Some people seem to be very obsessed with certain stories, and want to feel the excitement by fitting you into his/her favorite story.
If you need help, you need seek for professional help. But you can release stress on this forum, and no more than this.

Also, I wonder people who post extremely long posts many each day, are they get paid from the forum or they are very rich, no need to work? The point is that often time (I did not go through a lot of threads though), they mistook, and the very long comments are based on wrong assumption.....

In any case, the forum is a place for people to release stress. In this sense, this is "good" forum.
Moreover, this seems like a place for some people to kill time and may be have some fun?

I decided not to come again, at least not so often.
And your point? In one sentence or less please.
 

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In my opinion not that much, and the limited help is not by the answer you need, instead by your talking and pouring out some stress.
There can be several reasons.
(1) You can hardly describe full story with all details. And most cases, tiny details are most important. Most comments are judgmental based on partial facts.
(2) Even if you tell full story, a lot of times, it cannot really help. The same word said, same action taken by one in the story, can be interpreted differently by people from different population, because each population with different educational background, professions, economic standards, religions, ...... all can affect.
(3) Some people seem to be very obsessed with certain stories, and want to feel the excitement by fitting you into his/her favorite story.
If you need help, you need seek for professional help. But you can release stress on this forum, and no more than this.

Also, I wonder people who post extremely long posts many each day, are they get paid from the forum or they are very rich, no need to work? The point is that often time (I did not go through a lot of threads though), they mistook, and the very long comments are based on wrong assumption.....

In any case, the forum is a place for people to release stress. In this sense, this is "good" forum.
Moreover, this seems like a place for some people to kill time and may be have some fun?

I decided not to come again, at least not so often.
So?
 

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In my opinion not that much, and the limited help is not by the answer you need, instead by your talking and pouring out some stress.
There can be several reasons.
(1) You can hardly describe full story with all details. And most cases, tiny details are most important. Most comments are judgmental based on partial facts.
(2) Even if you tell full story, a lot of times, it cannot really help. The same word said, same action taken by one in the story, can be interpreted differently by people from different population, because each population with different educational background, professions, economic standards, religions, ...... all can affect.
(3) Some people seem to be very obsessed with certain stories, and want to feel the excitement by fitting you into his/her favorite story.
If you need help, you need seek for professional help. But you can release stress on this forum, and no more than this.

Also, I wonder people who post extremely long posts many each day, are they get paid from the forum or they are very rich, no need to work? The point is that often time (I did not go through a lot of threads though), they mistook, and the very long comments are based on wrong assumption.....

In any case, the forum is a place for people to release stress. In this sense, this is "good" forum.
Moreover, this seems like a place for some people to kill time and may be have some fun?

I decided not to come again, at least not so often.
We quickly see the dynamics of what is happening, which is why we don't always need all the details.
 

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(1) You can hardly describe full story with all details. And most cases, tiny details are most important. Most comments are judgmental based on partial facts.
(2) Even if you tell full story, a lot of times, it cannot really help. The same word said, same action taken by one in the story, can be interpreted differently by people from different population, because each population with different educational background, professions, economic standards, religions, ...... all can affect.
(3) Some people seem to be very obsessed with certain stories, and want to feel the excitement by fitting you into his/her favorite story.
Yes, there is a lot of truth to all those points. And yes, the help a forum can give is limited.

However, there are two other effects that occur, that can be helpful:
(1) We can often assess what's going on with a poster, not by what they tell us, but by how they interact on the forum. For example, if it's someone who immediately takes offence at everything everyone says, that may give us a clue as to why they have relationship difficulties. Or if they post once and disappear, or if they apologise too much, whatever it may be. Or if they don't seem to be answering some apparently important question.

(2) Yes, there is a lot of that "fitting you into" people's favourite stories. But the original enquirer can filter that out, to some extent, by reading different responses and seeing what the preponderant view is. There is a reasonable variety of people here.
 

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There are many regular posters on TAM that have plenty of experience and are able to communicate their thoughts very well to help other posters in distress.

Some new posters on TAM are attention seekers and are here for their own entertainment. They will post their 'problems' and then when questioned for more details, they fail to provide them.

TAM is a great place to get marriage and relationship advice. Some of the advice on here is equal to or surpasses the advice you may receive from registered therapists.

JMHO.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
There are many regular posters on TAM that have plenty of experience and are able to communicate their thoughts very well to help other posters in distress.

Some new posters on TAM are attention seekers and are here for their own entertainment. They will post their 'problems' and then when questioned for more details, they fail to provide them.

TAM is a great place to get marriage and relationship advice. Some of the advice on here is equal to or surpasses the advice you may receive from registered therapists.

JMHO.
lol, sounds dreamy.
Like the insecure jealous new guy recently. He provided full information, all personal and some extremely private, can make him be easily identified by people in the same town, and such private information?!
Did he get any help?! hardly!
I would say those who kindly offered advice, if they were his counselor, they would have all lost licenses. lol.

But this is a good place for some people kill time and feel self achievement by offering "advice", or some seem to enjoy very much every opportunity to fit someone to a miserable story. it does not matter it is merely in his/her imagination or not.

In short, this is a forum for some people to release stress and some others to kill time and act like self entitled counselor.
 

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lol, sounds dreamy.
Like the insecure jealous new guy recently. He provided full information, all personal and some extremely private, can make him be easily identified by people in the same town, and such private information?!
Did he get any help?! hardly!
I would say those who kindly offered advice, if they were his counselor, they would have all lost licenses. lol.

But this is a good place for some people kill time and feel self achievement by offering "advice", or some seem to enjoy very much every opportunity to fit someone to a miserable story. it does not matter it is merely in his/her imagination or not.

In short, this is a forum for some people to release stress and some others to kill time and act like self entitled counselor.
Most relevant to your posts is the fact that you seem to be here for your entertainment. Is that helping you on your life journey?

Padiwan, that's the only question related to your posts.
 

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lol, sounds dreamy.
Like the insecure jealous new guy recently. He provided full information, all personal and some extremely private, can make him be easily identified by people in the same town, and such private information?!
Did he get any help?! hardly!
I would say those who kindly offered advice, if they were his counselor, they would have all lost licenses. lol.

But this is a good place for some people kill time and feel self achievement by offering "advice", or some seem to enjoy very much every opportunity to fit someone to a miserable story. it does not matter it is merely in his/her imagination or not.

In short, this is a forum for some people to release stress and some others to kill time and act like self entitled counselor.
Anyone coming here in hopes that a forum will replace professional advice or help (therapist, lawyer, etc), is a fool.
 

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For me, just posting my issues was a bit cathartic. When I got a few replies
I felt I wasn't all alone. As time passed and I read a lot of other posts, I realized there
were a lot of people out there with a lot worse problems than me.
So I found this place to be useful and am glad I found it.

Of course the real help came from months of individual and marriage counseling.
So this place may not have all the answers, but it still has a place and serves a
valuable purpose.
 

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Anyone coming here in hopes that a forum will replace professional advice or help (therapist, lawyer, etc), is a fool.
What I've found the most helpful is this is a great place to do a sanity check on a wide variety of topics.
It's a given that anyone dropping by should know to observe and use things that are helpful to broaden a perspective and know how to filter the rest.
 

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What I've found the most helpful is this is a great place to do a sanity check on a wide variety of topics.
It's a given that anyone dropping by should know to observe and use things that are helpful to broaden a perspective and know how to filter the rest.
I'll add, I've unexpectedly developed "knowing" if you will, some members who's views are helpful and always contributing. And nice folks to chat in public forums with. Who knew. 👍👍
 

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Depends. I can assure you of one thing: if you’re looking to have your own biases confirmed or smoke blown up your posterior, that’s gonna be a no from this group. You also have to be able to glean the sincere advice from people looking for attention or looking to grind whatever axe they have. Kind of like, you know, the whole rest of the universe. You get people who want to help and people who don’t. If you let the people who don’t get you all fired up, you’re gonna have a bad time. But there are people who genuinely want to help.
 
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