Ok, so I was going to try to be flirty and initiate tonight, but my wife got off work and came into the kitchen "I'm done for the day! (celebrating) Want to go have sex?"You want a relevant and highly recommended book on this topic, read Married man’s sex life primer by Athol Kay
I guess I'll have to try tomorrow. We did flirt in bed, though. I'll check the book out.
That's the way. Don't sell yourself short at the start. Shoot for the moon. You don't get what you don't ask for.That’s what you want GoodDad. She should be wondering about other women if she doesn’t step up to the plate.
Initially my wife was like oh I can’t have sex every day! You want sex everyday? Me: no, once or twice a day ideally. Just say what you want and don’t worry about her reaction to it.
Interesting compromise. Genuinely curious…How often were you asking when asking 5 getting 1 or 2 (was it 5 times a week, 5 times a month)?I used to get turned down a lot. I would ask maybe 5 times and get sex 1 or 2 times. Best thing we did was agree to have sex two times a week, once during the week and once on the weekend. Wife agreed to do that IF I wouldn't ask for more sex than that. That means no hinting, asking or begging for more sex, two times and that is it. We have done this for a long time. I don't have to wonder if I'll get sex, I know I am getting it twice.
How nice you want wives scared you’ll cheat on them, fabulous.All about you.That’s what you want GoodDad. She should be wondering about other women if she doesn’t step up to the plate.
Initially my wife was like oh I can’t have sex every day! You want sex everyday? Me: no, once or twice a day ideally. Just say what you want and don’t worry about her reaction to it.
If I was getting it 4-5 times a week there would be no reason for anyone to say this to their spouse. I would love 4-5 times a week!How nice you want wives scared you’ll cheat on them, fabulous.All about you.
Saying this as someone who has sex 4-5 times a week( mutual) and find it ridiculous ic the guy isn’t satisfied the good to isloiking elsewhere. Geez
I didn't even pick up on that part of the comment until you pointed it out. I need to start reading more slowly lol.How nice you want wives scared you’ll cheat on them, fabulous.All about you.
Saying this as someone who has sex 4-5 times a week( mutual) and find it ridiculous ic the guy isn’t satisfied the good to isloiking elsewhere. Geez
Not true. It’s complicated and I just can’t cut and run.Apparently he doesn’t want to hear that, he just wants to analyze everyone’s stats.
I don't know how you define assertive, but nothing in your posts about how you interact with your wife sounds assertive at all. You sound like you defend yourself alot from HER assertiveness, and you sound like you rush to reassure her when she wants you to. How do you advocate for your own needs in your marriage (sexual and otherwise)? How do you set up boundaries and expectations for yourself with her, and how do you respond when she refuses to meet them?My wife has made the comment that I’d want sex every day if I could and I told her no, just frequent sex say 3 times a week.
I’ve been making changes, being more assertive, etc and honestly I don’t give a crap anymore what she thinks. She did say something to me last week that was interesting; she’s feeling insecure for the first time that I can recall. She said she has to try harder because she knows if another woman gives me attention she’s not giving me, I’ll be tempted. It’s the only time she’s said it and hasn’t done anything since.
You call leaving "cut and run", but you've been unhappy for years and years....what have you done to simplify the complications so you can actually create more options for yourself?Not true. It’s complicated and I just can’t cut and run.
It isn't about being scared that you will cheat, not directly anyway. It is called preselection. When a women sees other women showing interest in a man that man becomes more desirable. That isn't a knock on women, it is just a biological response.How nice you want wives scared you’ll cheat on them, fabulous.All about you.
Saying this as someone who has sex 4-5 times a week( mutual) and find it ridiculous ic the guy isn’t satisfied the good to isloiking elsewhere. Geez
Good! You not giving a crap what she thinks is breaking through. Next time she says something similar just tell her talk is cheap.She said she has to try harder because she knows if another woman gives me attention she’s not giving me, I’ll be tempted. It’s the only time she’s said it and hasn’t done anything since.
@snowbum this is the real world. It's an unassailable fact.It isn't about being scared that you will cheat, not directly anyway. It is called preselection. When a women sees other women showing interest in a man that man becomes more desirable. That isn't a knock on women, it is just a biological response.
It is logical really. If you improve yourself to the point that other women start to take notice, your wife will notice those improvement as well as the additional attention from other women. The response is, well maybe this guy really is a catch and I should try to keep him happy/happier.
If this is held as fact, shouldn't the reverse be true for women? Therefore, if a married woman wants to improve her looks, shouldn't it be assumed that she's doing it for her husband rather than for other men, if men working on their appearance should be assumed to be motivated by a desire to look better for his wife? I'm not saying that men or women whose spouses suddenly change their appearance shouldn't keep an ear to the ground and be aware, but if we're going to assume good intentions in men shouldn't we do the same for women?It is logical really. If you improve yourself to the point that other women start to take notice, your wife will notice those improvement as well as the additional attention from other women. The response is, well maybe this guy really is a catch and I should try to keep him happy/happier.
Very good point. It should be true, yes. I would hope that all self improvement is done for yourself, with your spouse in mind as a side beneficiary.If this is held as fact, shouldn't the reverse be true for women? Therefore, if a married woman wants to improve her looks, shouldn't it be assumed that she's doing it for her husband rather than for other men, if men working on their appearance should be assumed to be motivated by a desire to look better for his wife? I'm not saying that men or women whose spouses suddenly change their appearance shouldn't keep an ear to the ground and be aware, but if we're going to assume good intentions in men shouldn't we do the same for women?
Is this for that boob thread?If this is held as fact, shouldn't the reverse be true for women? Therefore, if a married woman wants to improve her looks, shouldn't it be assumed that she's doing it for her husband rather than for other men, if men working on their appearance should be assumed to be motivated by a desire to look better for his wife? I'm not saying that men or women whose spouses suddenly change their appearance shouldn't keep an ear to the ground and be aware, but if we're going to assume good intentions in men shouldn't we do the same for women?
Of course it’s about me. I need something from the relationship and I’m not getting it. She should be concerned about what happens if that continues, or laugh about it and tell me to move on.How nice you want wives scared you’ll cheat on them, fabulous.All about you.
Saying this as someone who has sex 4-5 times a week( mutual) and find it ridiculous ic the guy isn’t satisfied the good to isloiking elsewhere. Geez
