I’ve tried implementing what’s in the NMMNG book and when I try to be more assertive I get a snarky remark of “you just want it all the time” and “why must you grope me every time we hug” which isn’t true, I only do that every now and then.We are on same page! My wife is 54, I am 50. 2 boys, 22, 17. 22 is married and out, 17 is Jr. with enough credit to graduate if he takes 1 class in summer. But he will take next year along with several college level classes.
Sex 5-6 nights a week. One day last fall I brought up the 30 day challenge. Sex every day for 30 days, she says let's make it an anniversary challenge! Sex daily till anniversary...in May! So a 180 day challenge! I'm UP for that!
The bed is a "No Clothes Zone" because Daddy said! We sleep in buff, so BR door is locked nightly of course. Physical intimacy is now just a part of our nightly routine, I guess you could say it is a toss up as to who initiated. It is now as natural as fluffing your pillow. If I think she is tired or hurting, I will not initiate, but she will 99% of those times. Heck she has even initiated when passing a kidney stone. Says she just wants to forget about it for a while, maybe a good pounding will knock it loose, get it moving faster.
It would traumatize our sheltered 17 yr old son to walk in on mom and dad, hence the BR door locked nightly. Wouldn't know why, he is always commenting about us "making out" in the kitchen all the time.
When kids were young and sex dwindled to 3x month, I was ready to punch out and leave, until I read NMMNG and realized where I was deficient and making her less attracted to me. Changed my conflict avoidant, yes dear FOO issue personality and it lit a fire in her.
Also fact she can walk by and I am ready and willing. She says that is a major turn on for her, that she has that effect on me and that I am so hungry for her, makes her feel sexy and desired.
Nothing I’ve tried has lit a fire in her. I’ve been working out more, trying to get into better shape, tried being more assertive, tried planning more of our family things so that she’s not always making decisions. I even tried telling her what I want to see her wear in the bedroom and she pushes back saying she doesn’t know how or it feels silly to her.