I am 51, she is 54, married 32 years, together 35. Two kids, 24 and 22. The older is completely out of the house and the younger is finishing up college so he is here part time.
We average 4-5x per week, sometimes more, sometimes less. My wife initiates more that I used to realize. Usually it is subtle and triggers me to make a move on here without even realizing what she did. She is tricky like that, lol. On occasion she is more straight forward about it. Earlier this week we were watching TV on the sofa. Next thing I know she straddles me, starts kissing me passionately and tells me to take her to bed. So I picked her up and carried her off to the bedroom. She initiates in a straight forward manner like that only a couple times a month.
9 out of 10 times she will be receptive to my initiation, but that is partially due to me knowing when the odds are very low, so I don't bother. In those instances I'll often do something somewhat intimate involving touch, but not sexual. Like randomly massaging her feet or her shoulders. Or scratching her back, head or legs. She loves that stuff and I know it relaxes her, so I enjoy doing it for her with no strings attached. Some times though, doing that will lead to her initiating, which of course is fine by me.
We had sex less when the kids were younger. It wouldn't happen much during the week due to her just being exhausted. We would still manage to find time at least 1 day during the week, typically in the morning when we woke up. We probably averaged 2-3 time a week.
We've had lulls in our sex life, but there was almost always an identifiable cause, either medical or something external. to our marriage, like work, kid's schedules, etc. Luckily they've all had solutions. The bottom line is we are into each other sexually. I wish I could put that attraction in a bottle and sell it. It seems to come so easy to us. I often have a hard time understanding dead bedroom stories and how they got there. They usually sound like a loveless relationship lacking in any kind of passion, desire, lust and intimacy. That would feel like an empty marriage to me. Even on days we don't have sex, there are always multiple interaction between us every single day that signals we are attracted to each other. My wife grabs my junk at least a few time every day, lol. We kiss and hug all the time. It has been like that the whole 35 years we've been together. I don't understand how others aren't able to keep that spark and passion alive. I really wish everyone were able to.
