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my older sister was way prettier than me (plus, taller and more developed figure). As teenagers and dating, i had a steady stream of dates and boyfriends where as she sat home every friday and saturday. She whined to my mom that she didn't understand - she was so much prettier than blondie but blondie got all the boys. Mom looked at her and said "it's your personality, dear."
ouch.
 

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Total package for me and depends on how we met.

For Online only option is a picture initially so all I focus on is am i attracted or not. In the work place or thru friends of friends some people become 'hot' based on personality or aura they give off so maybe first glance not hot but once you connect they become really hot.

I was initially attracted to my Girlfriend enough to approach her and chat but she was not overly attracted to me physically, we spoke mostly because we are both foreign and have accents, she even saw me on a dating app and did not swipe me because I was not her type, we went on a date mostly because neither of us had much else to do and both wanted some company and enjoyed each others company enough to go on a second date and have been together ever since, I am extremely attracted to her now and and she seems to be the same with me.

I think Online dating sites have ruined dating a lot since it all starts with purely physically attraction which can end the moment someone opens there mouth or you see them in real day light without all the filters and bells and whistles.
 

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So if men really do want hot, then all of the average women in the world are just something men settle for?
I think most people (average men and average women) settle to some extent.

Most people start with an idealized version of our perfect partner based on the qualities we prioritize most.. We then start whideling those qualities down until we come to something we can actually achieve. That doesn't mean we don't still have an idealized version of our perfect partner. It only means we are hopefully content with the kind of partner who is content with us.
 

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Discussion Starter #65
Where were you meeting men?

Its also possible that you aren't attracted to the sort of men who are attracted to women for their brains. (Not a negative statement, just that people have preferences, and its possible to mostly desire a personality type that is not as likely to desire you).


The women I've dated have all had brains, and my wife is a brainy nerd.


:rofl: If this were true I'd have half the men on the planet panting after me. It didn't even happen when I actually WAS young and hot, in fact the brains were more boy-repellent than anything else ... all I had to do was answer the question "what's your major?" or "what kind of work do you do?" and they'd be off to the next female in the vicinity.
 

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Hot to trot, hot to start....

Later, going from hot to ever-warm.

Warm to the touch, warm kept so in mind.

Heat cares not its shaped container, heat relies on insulation for longevity.

The insulation of promises made and such they kept.

Kisses inject the heat, promises hold the the temperature steady.

Steady and ready for more kisses, more heat.

Heat fed by sugar, delivered by a sweet tongue, a caring mind, a heavy touch transferring lust to heat to at last, passion.
Unending, heat never gone cold.

Yes, that.

Thank you!





[THM]- The Typist I
 

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Discussion Starter #68
I suspect that there are also guys who want to date traditionally "hot" women in order to impress other guys, rather than date the women that they personally find most attractive.


They will never admit it but a lot of men are far too insecure to date really hot women.
They can’t handle other guys finding her attractive and always worry about orbiters.
 

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And have you ever seen a very ugly girl with a very pretty boy? Dirty in bed, people tell me... <a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/TAMarriage_2015/smilies/tango_face_smile_big.png" border="0" alt="" title="Laugh" >:)</a>
I know this is just my experience but the only time I've seen this is when the guy is submissive or he's hiding a secret life. The ugly girls who are dirty in bed are rarely seen outside the bedroom or in the daylight with the pretty boys. Again, just my experience.
 

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Have you ever seen an ugly guy with a very pretty girl and thought... how did he do that? Hidden qualities, people tell me... <a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/TAMarriage_2015/smilies/tango_face_smile_big.png" border="0" alt="" title="Laugh" >:)</a>
He's probably got $$.
 

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My older sister was way prettier than me (plus, taller and more developed figure). As teenagers and dating, I had a steady stream of dates and boyfriends where as she sat home every Friday and Saturday. She whined to my mom that she didn't understand - she was so much prettier than Blondie but Blondie got all the boys. Mom looked at her and said "It's your personality, dear."
Ah.....

Alas.

But, my Dear....

In the interim, all those years.

Yes.

Just say it.

Oh my!

What happened, Dear, in the interim?

Why so bitter?

Not even left as mere bitter-sweet.

Just so damn full-up bitter.

I suspect, under those layers of blond fuzz is a women just as sweet as you, your 'Yesteryear'.

You, some yesteryear, Dear.

Say it!

Men are no longer worth the effort!

Ah, so sad, so bad.

Sigh...





[THM] [[[[The Fist]]]]
 

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I guess my question is how do men let their partner know they think they are hot?
 

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Orbiters are a bit like having a ghost in your house. Nobody wants it but they don’t go away unless they are forced to.
That's exactly right.

In my mind, the difference is whether the orbiters are tolerated or dismissed.

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk
 

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Seriously is this even a question?

We all have standards, and we should have standards.

Yes, some peoples standards of "hot" are ridiculously high and they still are, "shockingly". Single.

I wouldn't date someone who doesn't have the capability to make my loins tingle.
 

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I guess my question is how do men let their partner know they think they are hot?
Words and deeds: Sometimes I tell her and sometimes I maul her. Both go over well provided I'm sensitive to detecting which is most appreciated when.
This is the only way I know when someone genuinely views me as hot in their eyes.

Words alone don't mean anything to me. Anyone can say anything.

Actions alone don't mean jack. I would feel like a sex doll if there was just action.

It takes both at the right time and quantity to make it believble.

Since my divorce, I have only experienced this with one person. When we were together, it's like he had eyes only for me. Couldn't get enough of me. It was awesome
 

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Is sex rank still a thing? Or does that get lumped in with the red pill stuff?

Because I believe it without a doubt. I tell my wife all of the time now, "I was much cooler when I was single." Her response? "Yeah. You kind of were. But I'm thankful every day I met you." She had checkboxes, I checked them. Same in my case with her.

Attraction isn't much of a choice really.

If a man has the opportunity to date a woman who is categorically hot by just about anyone's standard, I'd wager they will. Whether or not they have enough going for them to make that woman want to stick around is something else entirely.

And yes, generally we all have a spectrum of attraction and if a potential partner falls somewhere on that spectrum, dating determines if they keep moving up, or down the spectrum. I don't think saying we 'settle' for average is how we select a long term partner.
 
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