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Discussion Starter #1
My wife of 13 years says she hasn't and I believe her. Why? Prude? Think it's gross? Just not into sex/pleasure?
 

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My wife of 13 years says she hasn't and I believe her. Why? Prude? Think it's gross? Just not into sex/pleasure?
I think you would have to ask her, OP. There could be a number of reasons - religion being the most likely culprit.
 

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I'd say the number would be pretty close to "zero".

I'd also pretty sure she's probably lying. She experimented, at least once in youth.
Maybe she didn't like it. Maybe she cant orgasm on her own.. but she's tried, most likely.

She may have not tried since your marriage.. that could be true.
 

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According to the book his needs her needs 50% of women surveyed had never masturbated.

The usual reasons are religion and parental shame.
 

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I always felt that my wife was BSing me when she claimed to never do it, but I asked her in the perfect setting to be honest and she stuck to her guns.

We were away for a F weekend, drinking and just finished having great sex. I told her to use the new toys when I am at work and the topic went from there.

I still have my doubts, though. Seeing the way she cums from the Rabbit would make me live with it permanently on.
 

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With the right trust in the right friend, I believe any woman can move beyond her fears and confusion about masturbation and learn a new fun pasttime. Keep her talking about and make sure she tells you her real reasons. This may take a while.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Could be a lot of things. Does she come from a strict religious family? Maybe sex was taboo when she was growing up. Maybe she's embarrassed to admit she does it because she's afraid it will hurt your feelings.
Regarding the religious family, yes hers is somewhat strict. I do think more that the issue is she might be embarrassed about masturbation in general.

I told her a few weeks ago when we had a lengthy talk about "things" that I'd love to see her develop more of an edge when it comes to sex. Our talk has done some good, but there is a long way to go. It's just too bad that my wife of 13 years has issues opening up to me when it comes to the bedroom. And by that I mean her expressions and her legs....
 

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I'm sure not many these days. Some woman I know physically can't get themselves off so they have to rely on a guy to do it for them. Can't say i am one of them though.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
But I think it is more common for LOWER DRIVE women to never have this urge, or it is so small, she doesn't try to explore it ~ regardless of religion. Even the non-religious females may not masterbate.

It's not like religion stops the guys !! When the hormones are screaming -you do what you got to do! It's a great sign if a girl does this in her youth - giving a clue to her overall "sex drive"...or so that is my opinion anyway....from reading countless stories of husbands struggling with low drive wives- near all of them did NOT masterbate.
I would certainly agree it is more common for the lower drive women to never have the urge. My wife fits perfectly into this category, which is why I truly believe she never has.

I'm just getting to the point where I'm getting ready to wave the white flag. I just don't see how me reading MMSL or surprising her with a vibrator will change her desire. This is how she is and what can possibly change this? When I tell her to read an article about sex or even to look at this site, all I get is a smirk and an "oh, whatever"! Makes me just wanna say F-it sometimes and find myself something on the side.....

Sorry to b!tch and moan so much. I just get so uptight when sex is on my mind and it's one of the last things on hers. Just demoralizing.....
 

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Must be a LD thing. I discovered it at 11 and had no idea what I was doing, just knew I was going to keep doing it!
 

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First some research on the subject:
A Taboo That Doesn't Take Two

From the book: Even fetuses, and certainly small children, masturbate—“the phenomenon is perfectly normal,” states the unflappable penis specialist.
But as to your wife, I would agree with others and my first assuption would be that matters of sexuality had been such a taboo in her family that she was shamed and banned from doing it as well as talking about it. If this is not the case, and there's no other obvious sexual disfunctions/abuse in her history either, she's either extremely embarrassed to talk about or really low drive. I'm low drive and inhibited by my H's standards but I remember doing some sort of masturbation since I was 7 years old. And I still do, at times, even while married.

I actually think most of us do masturbate, as small children, but are directed away from it. I see my young newphew fingering his genitals everytime he's naked. I remember liking the sensation of rubbing myself against something even before I knew anything about making myself orgasm. But I will argue that when most parents see this this, especially at an inapropriate time, they'll say "No, Child, don't do that, stop touching yourself and lets put these pants on." or "Don't do it again. It's not right to do./Ladies don't do that./Big boys don't do that." Or they just get scared their 4-year-old is a sex-maniac and try to ignore it. Instead of saying: "Yes, child, touching yourself feels good and it is a beautiful thing to do. However, it is best to only do it at home so that you can privately enjoy yourself in peace. Do you understand?"

That's all. Rant over.
 
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