So let me start with, I am married for 12 years and have two kids. I love the kids more then life itself. What I need help with is that I cheated 7 or so years ago and I am still living with the fall out. I know I should not push to have her get over this but I am at a point where I can't stay "connected" if it is going to continue like this.
I have put a lot into the marriage over the last 7 years to help my wife get over this. I was on the road constantly and I choose a local position to be with her and make this work. I have found that I was a bit out of shape and I am now 16% body fat and dropping. I try everyday to treat her with respect and compassion. Yes some days are struggle but that is how it goes in any relationship.
I am a good person most of the time but I have my flaws. I have a very successful job and I provide a comfortable life for my stay at home mom (the kids are in school so she is now just a stay at home wife) and in this economy I think that is a very rear thing. I help clean somewhere between 30 and 40% of what needs to be done.
I get nothing back. I feel there is not attraction from her. I know there can be. She has passion but it is not for me. I married her because of her passion and love. But there is nothing there for me anymore. It has been like this for 8 years.
I am to the point where I am about to check out of the relationship and be here for my kids. I am not looking for another relationship but I need that passion from somewhere. I love my wife and I love my family but I don't know what else to do.
The first 2 years after I cheated I asked nothing from her. I let her be and I knew it was going to ruff. After that I let her know that our relationship need to change if we were going to make it. I let her know that I was not happy not only in our sex life but the affection she showed me. It got better for a month or so and then 6 months later we had the same talk. It gets better for a few week a month maybe but after that nothing. I don't bother bringing it up anymore. It make me sound like a little b1t^h and I hate that.
All in all I don't know if anyone has any advice for me but this is were I am at.
I have put a lot into the marriage over the last 7 years to help my wife get over this. I was on the road constantly and I choose a local position to be with her and make this work. I have found that I was a bit out of shape and I am now 16% body fat and dropping. I try everyday to treat her with respect and compassion. Yes some days are struggle but that is how it goes in any relationship.
I am a good person most of the time but I have my flaws. I have a very successful job and I provide a comfortable life for my stay at home mom (the kids are in school so she is now just a stay at home wife) and in this economy I think that is a very rear thing. I help clean somewhere between 30 and 40% of what needs to be done.
I get nothing back. I feel there is not attraction from her. I know there can be. She has passion but it is not for me. I married her because of her passion and love. But there is nothing there for me anymore. It has been like this for 8 years.
I am to the point where I am about to check out of the relationship and be here for my kids. I am not looking for another relationship but I need that passion from somewhere. I love my wife and I love my family but I don't know what else to do.
The first 2 years after I cheated I asked nothing from her. I let her be and I knew it was going to ruff. After that I let her know that our relationship need to change if we were going to make it. I let her know that I was not happy not only in our sex life but the affection she showed me. It got better for a month or so and then 6 months later we had the same talk. It gets better for a few week a month maybe but after that nothing. I don't bother bringing it up anymore. It make me sound like a little b1t^h and I hate that.
All in all I don't know if anyone has any advice for me but this is were I am at.