...I survived from a tragic marriage for 3 years and I am separated for 5 years now and had been out of the country working overseas. I met a few but it always ended up to nothing because I always get scared of being into a commitment. I've been longing for someone who can really take care of me and vice versa. But when it is already there, I can't just stay. Or maybe because I really haven't find the one yet. One day, I shifted to another Department at work. I met the rest of the team and they were all guys and all married. In my 4th month, one staff resigned as he got another job out of the company. The team decided to celebrate and unwind after work. But only 3 of us was there and some of their 3 friends from outside. We cooked and had drinks in one of my colleague's flat, Ernie. We all got drunk. The rest of the guys left and slept. Something happened to me and Ernie. I didn't expected it, in the first place we were just purely colleagues, no attractions and all, and worst he is married. His wife left a month ago and went back to our country for their first born child delivery. I didn't meant it to happen and so with him. We didn't spoke for 2 days. But i feel so worried because I don't know what to do. Everybody in our world knew how much he love his wife. I can't even explain why I consent those things to happen between us. And so with him...We spoke and apologized to each other. In my case i felt so humiliated because knowing my status maybe he thought I am easy as that. But he explained to me that it is not the way he treats me, he admitted that he can be attracted to me, he initiated things to happen and i let him. I tried to understand him because maybe he was feeling lonely having his family away from him.So we both agreed to forgive and forget and act same as we used to be, just colleagues at work. We succeed. But after a month, everything turned out differently, we get to have the time together as we've been doing our new project. We go home together as we almost have same area. If there is time, we just hang out and have dinner together, only like that and nothing beyond. I am trying to be with him as I understood he was too much stressed at work already, he even lose his weight and maybe he's feeling homesick also. We became comfortable with each other. He even hugged me when he announced that his baby girl was born. We go to church. I accompanied him when he goes shopping for his family because he is going for vacation. During the last few days of his stay, we became close, we shared a lot especially with the silly and funny things. He was such a sweet guy. 2 days before he left, the team again had a party and this time we went to a bar. We drank but not drunk, in same situation, he asked me to stay with him but I refused. When we both reached to each other's home, we talked over the phone. I can feel he really sound lonely and trying to confide me that he needs me. I wanted to really take care of him, I feel him but I know I can't and I don't have the right that's why I always limit my feelings because I'm scared. I am a decent woman. I value my friends because this is also how I survived...His last days was kinda emotional to me, I started to miss his presence as we always go for breakfast together, he always jokes on me at work, we even play in the office like kids.We both have same feeling, being into ourselves. Before his flight we talked a lot, he didn't promised me anything but he said one day he just realized that he loves to love me. I never answered him back everytime he opens that issue. I know he is only feeling it for now because his wife and his baby is away from him. I've been through that case also when you are alone in another country, no one to talk with after work. It really feels damn so lonely and all alone. But one thing's for sure, I am really missing him. Can anyone give me a sensible advice on what should I do. Shall I just go on with the flow or let it go.???