Talk About Marriage banner

821 - 840 of 1132 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,341 Posts
It's not just women under 30, its of all ages, even pregnant women, and I don't believe its because they all work harder. In my own experience that's a mixed bag at best. Here's some stats to back me up in case people think I am taking them from the air: Statistically, women apply to fewer jobs than men, why? - Movemeon.

From the article "WOMEN ARE 36% MORE LIKELY TO BE HIRED THAN MEN – BUT THEY ARE ALSO FAR LESS LIKELY TO VIEW A JOB AND THEN APPLY. MEN COMPETE MORE BUT WIN LESS."

Women are generally better to look at, more agreeable even if the boss is wrong, people prefer dealing with women in any type of service positions (which aren't always crappy like Starbucks) and they are believed to be better looking which just adds to a reason to hire them. There is a reason most CEOS are 6' or taller and it isn't because they are all geniuses- a lot of billionaires that started their own company like Bill Gates or Jeff Bezos are average or short. But when it comes to hiring someone in, you want someone who is good looking, be it a man or a woman. While the market is becoming less fair to the average person, it really never has been.
It is what it is. Some jobs, many sales jobs for example, hiring better looking people is a no brainer. But it basically has to do with perception and bias. A well dressed good looking person is going to be assumed to have their stuff together more than and sloppy overweight person. Is there any real basis for that assumption not really, a little maybe, most of the time? It comes down to first impression and the perception of the one doing the hiring. Thats why if you plan to go into a professional field it is wise to avoid getting a bunch of satanic face tattoos.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
686 Posts
I have considered getting a tattoo on my right hand for a long time but haven’t pulled the trigger yet. Might be an issue if I ever get recruited to a C staff position but in my industry I might be able to get away with it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,332 Posts
I've never been interested in any partner's sexual past but if they had something very colorful (porn star, prostitute) they better give me a heads up before we get serious.

I also don't want to be shaking hands and rubbing elbows with exes without knowing.
This right here! I have told my wife you better not let me become associated with that you have had sex with or we are going to have serious issues.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,332 Posts
True! Dishonesty is rampant. Most guys will admit we like are chasing pretty girls though. I love my GF but I never would have known her well enough to love her if she didn't have those beautiful eyes that got my attention.
Im an eye man too. It was my wifes baby blues that hooked me. Windows to the soul, i liked the view looking in.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
42 Posts
Hypergamy is a relatively rational strategy for women, and not necessarily a bad thing. Why?

As they get older, and start thinking about starting a family, women will seek out the best provider for themselves, and their future children. Of course a woman wants a guy with good prospects, income, property, etc. --it isn't simply about her wanting jewelry, clothes, and vacations. She wants her kids to have a nice home, good education, etc.

Now guys on the Internet scream about hypergamy, but they only think about it in terms of women dumping the present boyfriend for superficial reasons to get with a hotter dude. Sure, that can happen, but women are not as superficial as men think they are, and as they get older, they are less motivated to do things like that.

But hypergamy is simply a symptom of a much larger problem in our society, and that is the behavior of many women that limits their eventual happiness and ability to find a good husband. Namely, the promiscuous partying in her younger years (especially in college) and then trying to "get serious" and settle down with a "nice guy" when they get into their late 20s, or even their early 30s. A woman marries a man because of his future, and a man marries a woman because of her past.

Now women will complain and say that guys do this too (sow the oats), but most do not. Men simply do not have anywhere near the access to sex that women do, save for a small minority of guys. And because most guys can't simply jump from girl to girl, they are far more likely to seek out something stable and long-term. Most guys want a nice girlfriend.

Speaking for myself, I almost didn't marry my wife because of the behavior in her past. No fortunately I did marry her, because we have had a good marriage, but ...

I found out a lot of things I didn't like: specifically some one-night-stands she had in college. Her N count is twice that of mine, and too high. It fed into this idea that women sleep around and then find a provider --and even though this wasn't the case, her behavior fed into that stereotype. I was also very bothered by the fact that we didn't have sex until like the 6th date, and yet she had these one night encounters in her past --what did that say about me? She also didn't use protection with a lot of guys, and we always used protection.

again, bad stuff from the past that can, and probably would have been, ruinous to our relationship had I known it all at once.

Long story short: IMHO women should be looking for good, long-term prospects when they are young, and not engaging in a dual-mating strategy
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,140 Posts
Hypergamy is a relatively rational strategy for women, and not necessarily a bad thing. Why?

As they get older, and start thinking about starting a family, women will seek out the best provider for themselves, and their future children. Of course a woman wants a guy with good prospects, income, property, etc. --it isn't simply about her wanting jewelry, clothes, and vacations. She wants her kids to have a nice home, good education, etc.

Now guys on the Internet scream about hypergamy, but they only think about it in terms of women dumping the present boyfriend for superficial reasons to get with a hotter dude. Sure, that can happen, but women are not as superficial as men think they are, and as they get older, they are less motivated to do things like that.

But hypergamy is simply a symptom of a much larger problem in our society, and that is the behavior of many women that limits their eventual happiness and ability to find a good husband. Namely, the promiscuous partying in her younger years (especially in college) and then trying to "get serious" and settle down with a "nice guy" when they get into their late 20s, or even their early 30s. A woman marries a man because of his future, and a man marries a woman because of her past.

Now women will complain and say that guys do this too (sow the oats), but most do not. Men simply do not have anywhere near the access to sex that women do, save for a small minority of guys. And because most guys can't simply jump from girl to girl, they are far more likely to seek out something stable and long-term. Most guys want a nice girlfriend.

Speaking for myself, I almost didn't marry my wife because of the behavior in her past. No fortunately I did marry her, because we have had a good marriage, but ...

I found out a lot of things I didn't like: specifically some one-night-stands she had in college. Her N count is twice that of mine, and too high. It fed into this idea that women sleep around and then find a provider --and even though this wasn't the case, her behavior fed into that stereotype. I was also very bothered by the fact that we didn't have sex until like the 6th date, and yet she had these one night encounters in her past --what did that say about me? She also didn't use protection with a lot of guys, and we always used protection.

again, bad stuff from the past that can, and probably would have been, ruinous to our relationship had I known it all at once.

Long story short: IMHO women should be looking for good, long-term prospects when they are young, and not engaging in a dual-mating strategy
The problem your wife has is that she told you. That’s it. If you didn’t know about her past you would think more highly of her and that’s good for her and you.

If I am considering a man for a serious relationship I would wait to have sex with them. It’s twofold, one is that he will respect me. Two, is that we have to weed out the guys that just want sex, and it’s not safe to get emotionally invested in someone who just wants sex. So men that are serious about you, put in the effort, and they are patient because your worth it and they like you.

Women are disgusting horny creatures just like men are. There are times when we just want sex, really good sex. So that’s when a FWB is good, or a one night stand.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
42 Posts
The problem your wife has is that she told you. That’s it. If you didn’t know about her past you would think more highly of her and that’s good for her and you.

If I am considering a man for a serious relationship I would wait to have sex with them. It’s twofold, one is that he will respect me. Two, is that we have to weed out the guys that just want sex, and it’s not safe to get emotionally invested in someone who just wants sex. So men that are serious about you, put in the effort, and they are patient because your worth it and they like you.

Women are disgusting horny creatures just like men are. There are times when we just want sex, really good sex. So that’s when a FWB is good, or a one night stand.
oh man ...this encapsulates the fears of many guys right here lol

of course women like sex,and so do men. But there is a difference between being liberal-minded about such things, and being a libertine

Both men and women should be evaluated on the choices they have made, their pasts, and their potential futures. Studies have shown that women with high body counts have a much greater rate of divorce and marital unhappiness. One study remarks "Women who had between six and 10 sexual partners were the least likely—at 52%—to rate their marriage as “very happy.”

so your idea of keeping the past a secret and being dishonest about who you are is not good policy.

Likewise, treating people as objects and not people (engaging in FWB situations or even ONS) isn't something I support. I never once did that as a guy--I had a number of girlfriends, but almost all were relatively LTR, and meaningful. I wasn't using girls, and they weren't using me

Now you can live any way you like, but what you shouldn't do is pretend to be someone you aren't in order to land a high-quality guy, just to have him discover the truth down the road. believe me, most guys worry a lot about this --that the girl who they think is a good catch, has a lot of character and self-control, would be a devoted spouse, etc., is in reality the chick with a huge body count, who cheated on past boyfriends, let wealthy old men use her, and who was piped down in bathrooms at nightclubs.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,140 Posts
oh man ...this encapsulates the fears of many guys right here lol

of course women like sex,and so do men. But there is a difference between being liberal-minded about such things, and being a libertine

Both men and women should be evaluated on the choices they have made, their pasts, and their potential futures. Studies have shown that women with high body counts have a much greater rate of divorce and marital unhappiness. One study remarks "Women who had between six and 10 sexual partners were the least likely—at 52%—to rate their marriage as “very happy.”

so your idea of keeping the past a secret and being dishonest about who you are is not good policy.

Likewise, treating people as objects and not people (engaging in FWB situations or even ONS) isn't something I support. I never once did that as a guy--I had a number of girlfriends, but almost all were relatively LTR, and meaningful. I wasn't using girls, and they weren't using me

Now you can live any way you like, but what you shouldn't do is pretend to be someone you aren't in order to land a high-quality guy, just to have him discover the truth down the road. believe me, most guys worry a lot about this --that the girl who they think is a good catch, has a lot of character and self-control, would be a devoted spouse, etc., is in reality the chick with a huge body count, who cheated on past boyfriends, let wealthy old men use her, and who was piped down in bathrooms at nightclubs.
Let’s be honest, that study doesn’t matter. You married your wife knowing her high body count. All that it did, was make you judge her for it. That’s it.

There is a difference between wanting to have sex when your single, and spending every night banging different dudes.
I would say sex is a need. If I’m single for 5 years am I suppose to go without sex for 5 years? That’s torture.

There is nothing wrong with liking sex and needing it every once in a while. This doesn’t change your character, it makes you human. But that is different than A women degrading herself, and partying all the time and banging people that clearly treat her like crap.

There is irresponsible sex behavior, and there is healthy need for sex in a safe and responsible way.

I’m coming up on 4 weeks with no sex and I am dying. Yes I am masterbating. I am super sexual, but I am responsible. My body count is 3 and ive never had a one night stand. But I am a healthy 30 something year old and I am struggling. So I don’t blame women to go out and get some. That makes them human, and they are taking care of a need.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,140 Posts
Also it’s not meant to be this way. Your “suppose” to wait till marriage to have sex then only have sex with them forever. That didn’t work out for me.

It’s like having an indoor cat, use to getting all their needs met, and then throwing them outside to fend for themselves. Except, when they toughen up, and hunt down some food, there’s a bunch of people waiting there to judge how disgusting your barbaric behavior is.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
686 Posts
It didn’t bother me that my wife had been banging people before me. I mean if she had been a hooker or had people literally running trains on her or something then maybe... but when she picks me to be with now well then I don’t much care what happened before for the most part.
 
821 - 840 of 1132 Posts
Top