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110 Posts
As long as I can remember I've been the nice guy, when it comes to women. I've always been the one to listen, to talk back, and to give help when I see they're in need. For some reason many years ago nearing the end of high school I began to become what I guess people would say "softer" towards women. I lost someone I was with for 3 years (not either of our faults she moved away) and it forever changed how I viewed women. I was no longer a dog and I vowed to make women my best friend. I guess I somewhat blamed myself (even though she did not know) that the things that I was doing behind her back somehow was the reason why good ol Karma took her away from me. Then 3 years later after dealing with users and abusers I found someone else who was very special to me. Me and her did everything together and she held me down through alot of situations. I once again took her for granted and she left after 2 1/2 years in 2008. Both of these women are now married and have moved on.
Now I'm 25 on the brink of losing my second marriage and I don't know where to begin. I read and have been reading about the "Do a 180" and it seems so much like I'm going to be doing something that seems so damn scary. Like I'm going to be turning my back on the person I vowed to be with. Since the breakup in 2008 relationships for me haven't been the same at all. I've starting to lose confidence, I've lost hope in feeling like I'll be nothing more than someones money bag or hustle, and most importantly I've lost myself.
My first marriage landed me with someone who lied, cheated, and eventually moved away with my son that I barely know but pay almost $700 a month in child support. I'm now married to someone with 2 kids and I'm seeing that I've become the same predicatable, needy, whining, emotional person I was in my last marriage and feel like all I'm good for at this point is to help with the bills.
I sleep in my own room and I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself and I want change, it's just been so long since I can remember doing things by myself. I've become completely dependent on relationships for fear a being alone and I just dont know how to even start to do this 180. I'm afraid of disappointing people and hurting peoples feelings. I just feel like at this point I have no choice because I want to change me. I've been this through counseling and have dealt with alot of issues, I just want to change but I'm truly afraid of it.
How many people on TAM were like me and did a 180 and changed their lifes?
....Scared and lost and praying this prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Now I'm 25 on the brink of losing my second marriage and I don't know where to begin. I read and have been reading about the "Do a 180" and it seems so much like I'm going to be doing something that seems so damn scary. Like I'm going to be turning my back on the person I vowed to be with. Since the breakup in 2008 relationships for me haven't been the same at all. I've starting to lose confidence, I've lost hope in feeling like I'll be nothing more than someones money bag or hustle, and most importantly I've lost myself.
My first marriage landed me with someone who lied, cheated, and eventually moved away with my son that I barely know but pay almost $700 a month in child support. I'm now married to someone with 2 kids and I'm seeing that I've become the same predicatable, needy, whining, emotional person I was in my last marriage and feel like all I'm good for at this point is to help with the bills.
I sleep in my own room and I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself and I want change, it's just been so long since I can remember doing things by myself. I've become completely dependent on relationships for fear a being alone and I just dont know how to even start to do this 180. I'm afraid of disappointing people and hurting peoples feelings. I just feel like at this point I have no choice because I want to change me. I've been this through counseling and have dealt with alot of issues, I just want to change but I'm truly afraid of it.
How many people on TAM were like me and did a 180 and changed their lifes?
....Scared and lost and praying this prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.