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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I read this thread and yes it is another sad story......

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/57000-after-23-years-wifes-passion-gone-there-any-anyway.html

What I wondered and have mentioned over & over is how the heck does a man know he's good in bed. I am caring, compassionate, giving and enthusiastic, but does that make me a good lover?

You can be creative, last long, be imaginative...... however the only thing I have that gives me any feedback as to my so-called skill is my spouse orgasming..... and of course that she hasn't left after 25+ years.....:p:D:confused:

So tell me men, how like the thread I linked do you know you are good in bed.....
 

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You know whie you're doing it if its one of your good nights or you totally suck. When you're married for a long time, there will be some nights where you just don't have the energy to give it your all, even though yor mind is all in.

I don't even need to scrutinize my wife's reactions much to ascertain my performance scorecard. Even f you make her cum, it coud be one of your off nights. Thats not always te barometer.

The other night, my wife and I had very good to great sex and I feel I was a 7/8. I know. I can do better, even though it appeared to be ok from what I was seeing and hearing from her. But we know when we can step it up a notch.
 

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comunication,comunication,comunication........

when her a$$hole is winking at you and shes flowing like a river now your doing something.
 
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You can be creative, last long, be imaginative...... however the only thing I have that gives me any feedback as to my so-called skill is my spouse orgasming..... and of course that she hasn't left after 25+ years.....:p:D:confused:
Ha ha, I just asked my husband this question this morning, his reply >> "because his wife stays with him". I also know for him... the barometer IS ...My orgasm. This means EVERYTHING TO HIM...he is a master at holding out for me.

I know this question was asked of the MEN... but I have some thoughts on it.

Although I have only been with 1 Lover, I have nothing to compare... I feel what makes the Best lovers - has less to do with "technique" -but how the experience makes one feel inside, the emotional stirrings that bind us in the physical, it is the culmination of everything we are feeling deep within, but can't express in words somehow ~how this giving of pleasure makes us feel about ourselves even. Isn't this the ultimate of "highs"?

But I've always been an easy orgasm !

Even as a woman, if I couldn't get my husband off, I'd feel heartbroken somehow, I NEED that, HIS pleasure is MY Pleasure, we both feel very deeply in this. Some may feel that is Ego, but I don't, we want to bring our partners where we are, those heights, experiencing it all together.

TO HIM.. My pleasure & coming back for more = his Lover rank in bed. (I tend to view it the same, wouldn't we all??)

If one has a low drive spouse though, this gets complicated, as the act just holds less allure, affectionate holding may be enough for many wives... they don't crave or need the physical as their husbands do (His Test levels are 10 times higher generally)........ or Resentment has set in -which can hamper the desire to "please" their husbands or they grow to resent their higher craving for more sex, and it's NOT the good lovers fault, as he may be bending over backwards to please, be creative, all of it. They just don't need the extra stimulation.

Even when my hormones started slipping, shifting from HIGH insatiable "couldn't get enough" Drive -downshifting into normal/decent Drive... I am still CRAVING him terribly...what drives us both these days is more of the "emotional" -but still we want those orgasms... In this way, he must be a hell of a lover... or I just have alot going on inbetween my ears -- yeah.. I know this is the case too ! :D

Making Love , to me, is like an ongoing emotional High, it is something I anticipate, relaxes me, and brings the ultimate connection between us.

 

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I don't think you can be 'good in bed' if you are worrying about being good in bed.

I think you should think of it in terms of chemistry, rather than you being a good performer. Sometimes being good in bed means just letting loose and doing what you want to do.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
The point I was making is that in the other thread the Husband claimed emphatically that he was good.

All I know is that I am doing something right and happy that my wife does O.......:p:D:rolleyes:
 

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The point I was making is that in the other thread the Husband claimed emphatically that he was good
Yes, I would never claim I was good in bed, but we do have great sex...together.
 

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You know whie you're doing it if its one of your good nights or you totally suck. When you're married for a long time, there will be some nights where you just don't have the energy to give it your all, even though yor mind is all in.
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:iagree::iagree:

I know its good when she cannot get off the bed because her legs are shaking and her body is limp after sex.

I know its bad when she glares :rolleyes: at me after sex.
 

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Just ask your lady.
 

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I guess it's one of those self-doubt/self-esteem problems.

At least if it's something you're aware of, it means you aren't so selfish that you don't care what it's like for your wife.

My wife tells me I'm good, so that's nice to hear. Of course her experience is extremely limited, so I may actually be pretty bad - but so long as she thinks I'm good, that's all that matters, right? :D
 

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No simple answer as every woman is different.

That being said; if my wife is writhing, moaning, pelvic thrusting, speaking in unknown tongues and referring to me as a deity; then I know Im on target that night!
 

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Discussion Starter #19
No simple answer as every woman is different.

That being said; if my wife is writhing, moaning, pelvic thrusting, speaking in unknown tongues and referring to me as a deity; then I know Im on target that night!
That's the point, you only know from your spouse's response and fortunately for me my wife orgasms. But that's it that's all..... I know and am sure about very little else.
 

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When she says/shouts.

"Don't stop, keep doing that"
 
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