Are the toys for you or him, or both? It's all up to you guys. Use them whenever you want and for however long you want. Do some research. There are tons of different kinds, both for males and females.
My wife and I started using some toys after (of all things) going to a "demonstration" put on by one of those "consultants" ("Tasteful Treasures") at one of her friends house. There are a whole spectrum of things and we have gradually added things.
We started with some lotions and oils. Our favorites are the "Nipple Nibblers" which is an edible lotion. We graduated onto a vibrating ring that goes around the my privates called a "butterfly kiss" (love it). At the demonstration they had a "mystery bag" thing which we got that had a vibrator in it. We have incorporated that into our sex lives. The next thing we are discussing is called the "we vibe" which is called a couples vibrator which one of her friends told her about and (in researching it) have found was on Dr. Oz and some other health advice shows.
I guess depending on her mood she'll either use a vibrator for clitoris stimulation which usually gets her off with noo problem ....... or if she's in a really raunchy mood she'll take out our dildo which is very " life like " and thick !! Using this would of course be internal and does stretch her mooore than just a bit