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Hi, I have an issue where a lack of sex = a lack of affection in my mind.
I think I have always had this issue due to long term childhood abuse where the only person to show me affection was my abuser. Never really thought about it till very recently as I just put it down to having a very high sex drive.
Was forced to confront this issue this week when my wife of 6 years (with 3 years together beforehand) said things are over. I won't rehash the overall situation in here as I have already posted it; http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-through-divorce-separation/62090-end-things.html#post1252873 .
Of the things that have come to light through this, one of the key things that has stood out is she has been feeling used and worthless due to my seeming to only want her for sex. At first I was cross and denied this and said she just didn't understand it's not sex I want but affection. having had time to think i can see this is slightly ridiculous as it was very clearly sexual contact i was aiming for when seeking affection.
Has anyone had success dealing with this sort of issue. the abuse at root of it may complicate it but I I'd appreciate hearing from anyone who has or is dealing with a similar sex = affection problem.
I think I have always had this issue due to long term childhood abuse where the only person to show me affection was my abuser. Never really thought about it till very recently as I just put it down to having a very high sex drive.
Was forced to confront this issue this week when my wife of 6 years (with 3 years together beforehand) said things are over. I won't rehash the overall situation in here as I have already posted it; http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-through-divorce-separation/62090-end-things.html#post1252873 .
Of the things that have come to light through this, one of the key things that has stood out is she has been feeling used and worthless due to my seeming to only want her for sex. At first I was cross and denied this and said she just didn't understand it's not sex I want but affection. having had time to think i can see this is slightly ridiculous as it was very clearly sexual contact i was aiming for when seeking affection.
Has anyone had success dealing with this sort of issue. the abuse at root of it may complicate it but I I'd appreciate hearing from anyone who has or is dealing with a similar sex = affection problem.