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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello, I am new to this, and this is my first post. I am married, 29 and a mother of 4 amazing kids.I am married to my very best friend and I feel like we have a very close bond. But he has been lieing to me, and trying to hide things from me. And he has a problem with looking at other girls online, while I am away. It hurt me alot, He did admit the truth, and is getting professional help. At first I felt like I wasnt good enough, and He wasnt happy in our marriage. But after doing alot of reading on porn addiction I realized it not me.:mad: I kicked him out of the bedroom, refused to sleep or be with him sexually, because I was hurt... I just didnt feel like he deserved to be with me. I feel alot better now its been alittle over a week. he is back in the bedroom, although we have not had sex or anything...yet. He promised me no more looking at other women, he swore he has never talked to another women or cheated.. I am struggling a little, because there was a transaction on our bank account for LavaLife ( a phone dating site for hooking up) He swore he didnt do it.. I wanna believe him, But I am not dumb. I want things to go back to normal, I want to be happy again. I try so hard to be there for him, I go out of my way to make him feel special. I am not so hurt anymore, because I understand what happened, however I feel like I dont know "everything" I am not sure that matters, if he will change right? I have a hard time trusting him because of this, I dont want to spy or wonder while I am away what he is doing... So my question to you out there, is how can I get my trust back with my husband. I realize men look, and there is no real reason for it, we are human, and he has been going to a therapist because he wants to get better. ( he set up the apt and found the doctor on his own) I am very proud of him. He reassured me I am what he wants and needs and thats all. No other women ever. I want to trust that. How can I? :confused: I want to put my guard back down. But I dont want to get my heart broken.... any advice would be greatly appreciated..Thank you for reading my post.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Maricha75, Thank you for your advice, he has only given me his facebook password, but I am sure if I ask him he would let me see any account at anytime. And I know everything will take time. Do you really think marriage counselling is nessasary
? Even though he is seeking professional help? I am also going to be attending a womens group at our church that deals with our issues we are having to help me heal and trust and get stronger.

Hicks,
Thank you for your response, I am not agreeing with you though. There has been dating sites and other things and I have seen convos with girls (he says he didnt do it) but I have seen them and they were bad..nasty dirty convos... about sex. He has not been able to admit this or he really didnt do it, I am not sure, I do not think it is okay for my husband to masturbate and look at other females, I am okay with going to his level and I have and am a very sexual person myself and willing to do what he needs, but only with him. How would I do a lie detector test? That sounds like a good idea...any ideas?

Hope1964,
I will read ur post.. I am so scared to find out that truth... He swore on my life he didnt do that, but it was his debit card, and it was in the middle of the afternoon while are kids were still awake. so sad, because if that were true...I know his addiction is just getting stronger and soon it will be psychically cheating...:-( I want so bad to believe him. But he lies...
 
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