over 12 years of marriage to a man who lies habitually and is pretty narcissistic. He is extremely concerned with what other people think and seeks the attention of other women often. There are a lot of lies. I keep hearing him say, he will stop. I have threatened to leave, divorce. the last 6 years all I have really done is respect myself less and less by staying with him, constantly looking and checking until he is busted again... the resentment and frustration have contributed to a true loss of myself, my ideals and I have a lot of shame to even admit to my friends and family how truly unhappy I am. I dream of leaving, I search for other homes, rentals, wherever but I have two children under the age of 7. I am staying home more to be with the kids and I miss my work as a physician but I feel I have to give the marriage and family all of me as he has told me in the past that I am not there for him, give nothing for him... on and on like the selfish person he is while playing the victim to others for validation and attention. I have truly HAD IT. I know he will wear me down with more bs about how it's really my deficiencies that cause him to lie and that I provoke him to yell at me. ugh!! I feel repulsed even writing this as I tend to cave despite the contracts, ultimatums and all that I have done in the past. Is there ANYTHING anyone can recommend re: how to hold somebody to their pledge of being honest and establish pre-agreed outcomes for releasing the other person? I feel desperate and pathetic. I want him to actually be the man he says he pledges to be and I want an out (with how much money, who gets what and the kids how often) before I agree to try to work on it. I am told I shouldn't move out of the house bc he can try to show I've abandoned him so I feel I need a legal document - has anyone btdt or have advice? thank you!!