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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A Question to the Ladies.

Over the last couple of weeks I've noticed that my wife isnt quite as responsive during sex and that she isnt reaching orgasm even through manual stimulation.

I love giving my wife Oral and using my hands but she doesnt quite seem into it even if i spend some time on this. Sometimes she is very responsive and becomes very wet but other times not.

I asked her if there was something wrong or if im not doing something and she has told me no, I also asked if it bothers her that she didnt orgasm the last time we had sex and she said no as she doesnt always orgasm but it doesnt bother her.

I havent asked her this but it could be that she is having sex with me to make me happy.

I would like to give my wife an orgasm every time we have sex so maybe I need to try other things or am i over thinking this?

Any ideas/feedback appreciated.
 

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My wife enjoys sex an usually orgasms easily. However there are times when she is really tired, or her chronic pain is flairing up when she will tell me to go ahead and enjoy myself. That used to bother me but then I realized that it was a way that she wanted to show her love for me by meeting my needs. She als enjoys the closeness of making love even if she has no orgasm.

I presume everything is fine in other areas of your relationship. If that is the case, you are probably over thinking this. Keep working on ways to please her (I am still learning after 40 years). Do some reading together, keep the romance alive, make sure she is the most important thing in your life. If she wants to please you, let her.
 
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A Question to the Ladies.

Over the last couple of weeks I've noticed that my wife isnt quite as responsive during sex and that she isnt reaching orgasm even through manual stimulation.

I love giving my wife Oral and using my hands but she doesnt quite seem into it even if i spend some time on this. Sometimes she is very responsive and becomes very wet but other times not.

I asked her if there was something wrong or if im not doing something and she has told me no, I also asked if it bothers her that she didnt orgasm the last time we had sex and she said no as she doesnt always orgasm but it doesnt bother her.

I havent asked her this but it could be that she is having sex with me to make me happy.

I would like to give my wife an orgasm every time we have sex so maybe I need to try other things or am i over thinking this?

Any ideas/feedback appreciated.
You did not mention how old your wife is or you. My wife and I as we got older and had health problems. After menopause she had a few times as before where she had a lot on her mind or or was in some pain. I have learned here on TAM some women just like the bonding and do not need to O every time.

There have been a few times with my health problems the plumbing has not always worked as well as it did 40 years ago. Talk to her, is she going through the change?

My wife and I use to try some new things to keep our sex fresh even after 30 years there were always new toys.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks for the replies so far. I would like to hear the opinion of more women and how they feel about it.

Regarding the question above, we are both 36 and generally things are ok. I think I could make more of an effort to talk and chat generally and if she could change one thing about me that would probaly be it, open up more and talk but overall we are ok.

We've tried toys and altough she seems to enjoy them to a point she has told me that she doesnt really like them as she prefers a nice build up to an orgasm as the toys tend to get her there very quickly, I think her words were "there is no Oooooo moment with toys".
 

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No orgasm with sex is like eating Oreo cookies without having a glass of milk to wash them down.yes the cookies rock and my desire for sweets is met.but the milk would make that snack everything it was meant to be:)
Sex without orgasms is eating the cookies while wishing someone would give you some milk:D
 

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From what I hear physical stimulation is only half of a womans capability to orgasm. I hear the other half is mental stimulation.
My wife highly dislikes me... and also the fact that she only has sex with me every few months and thinks that the only reason she even has it this much is so I won't leave her. Thus I think these 2 reasons is why she can't orgasm
 

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It sounds like you need to talk with her. Open up. Not just about sex either. For my wife, foreplay begins above the neck, not below. It's all in the mind for her. Sometimes just talking to her about things that concern her is enough to get her juices flowing. I don't know why.

Women are delightfully complicated creatures.
 

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I only O through oral sex. And sometimes, it just doesn't happen...not really sure why. Other times I'm killing myself NOT to orgasm while he's going down just so it can last!!

Unless it's been forever since I've orgasmed, for me, it's not a big deal. Sometimes I just know it's not going to happen...either I'm distracted or not as horned up, maybe it's my cycle....really I don't analyse it too much. When it comes down to it, you have to talk to your wife. If she says it doesn't bother her, she may be like me. But if it really is important to you, you could say that you really miss watching her O and would like to give her one tonight....tell her to be the boss on what she wants done to her.
 

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I don't NEED to orgasm every time I have sex, and I don't about 25% of the time. That doesn't mean I'm just having sex to make my partner happy, or that he's not making me feel amazing, it's just that reaching orgasm is not that big of a deal to me.

It's taken me a while to convince my partner it isn't him, though. Because it's really not... There's just sometimes when I can tell it isn't going to happen. I don't know what causes it, but I do know it has nothing to do with him. Just a weird quirk I have.
 

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If I'm tired or stressed I don't need to orgasm. The physical connection is enough for me.

Is your W using a new form of BC, or is she tired or worried about anything?

Talk to your W, OP. Only she can tell you why.
 

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I don't NEED to orgasm every time I have sex, and I don't about 25% of the time. That doesn't mean I'm just having sex to make my partner happy, or that he's not making me feel amazing, it's just that reaching orgasm is not that big of a deal to me.

It's taken me a while to convince my partner it isn't him, though. Because it's really not... There's just sometimes when I can tell it isn't going to happen. I don't know what causes it, but I do know it has nothing to do with him. Just a weird quirk I have.
I hear about this a lot too. Thank you for your information. Once a therapist told me that, for some women, the intercourse itself is more meaningful than the orgasm. Maybe you are one of those women.
 

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My wife often does not O during sex. She says she is fine with that, doesn't need to all the time because she gets pleasure from the sex itself.
 

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If I don't orgasm once in a while (like two or three times a month) its no biggie. If it became a regular thing then I would get sexually frustrated quite easily.
 

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Then what would you consider regular?
Well, considering she said "once in awhile is ok", the regular would be every time or nearly every time. And that's how I feel about it too. On average, we have sex once a week. If I don't O once a month, ok, I can live with that. But if it ends up more frequent than that, I have a problem with it. Fortunately, that hasn't been a issue in the last few years :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Thanks for all the replies.

I now feel better about this, obviously I would like to help my wife orgasm every time and i will always try to help her get there.
 

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since it doenst happen often and never for lack of him or i trying, i just turn over for a cuddle and go to sleep. This is different than the quickie i give him in the morning before work and I dont get mine so he can owe me *winky winky*
 
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