[Bryzen11]

We have been together for 10 years, married for 5. We are now based in US but come from a country where sex topics are taboos and many girls prefers to stay virgin before getting married. That’s what happened with us. My wife decided that she would be virgin till married and I respected that. We would make out but never really had sex or talk about it openly. After we got married we had to do long distance relationship for a year or so because of visa situation. So essentially we started living together for first time before 4 years. The thing is we never did the penetrative sex, I realized after the wedding that my wife doesn’t really have interest in sex. When we tried to have penetrative sex first time, she said it pains too much and it continued every time we tried. After she moved to US with me i took her to gynecologist multiple times but she would never follow any suggestions given by doctor. Our non-penetrative sex life is also non existent. I gave up putting any efforts couple of years back and now we just sleep on our corners of the bed. This is depressing and whenever i try to bring up the topic, she just changes the topic or start crying. I think I realized that either she doesn’t like me anymore or she is just not interested in sex. I don’t think i can spend all my life without sex. Is there any hope or divorce is the only option?

I recently went through this 2021. My wife and I dated for 6 years and have been married for 6 years. Sex was always a thing that would pop up in arguments on my end. We would go through phases were I felt we weren’t having enough sex sometimes it would be once a month. We are both turning 30 this year so I found it weird being young and in a sexless marriage. I ended up feeling like I was ready to look for someone outside of the marriage to fulfill my sexual needs but I knew I owed it to my wife to let her know how I felt. We started doing couples therapy and it turns out there’s been so much miscommunication in our marriage. She finally understood whatsex meant to me and how I had been feeling rejected for so long. She understood that after our first kid there was no balance of mom and wife. And I also realized I never really spoke her love language. She also grew up in a veryreligious home were sex was always talked about in a negative andsinful way. After 2 months of couples therapy things started to change. I also had to make adjustments and meet her half way on the things she needs from me. I would only consider divorce when you’ve actually had the big conversations and when you’ve been completely vulnerable and still feel rejected. I think y’all both deserve a chance to fix what’s been broken and a lot of it starts with better communication. We have sex twice a week while raising a toddler and a 9 month old at the moment. And now when we have those though weeks that we genuinely couldn’t find the time for its really not that big of a deal cause I know the effort that is being out in by both of us.