[questionme2]

Marriage problems are nothing new, but im trying to determine how things that transpired yesterday would play out in other marriages. Yesterday I left home to go shipping around 3:15. My husband and son (6) were watching football. I texted back and forth a few times with my husband. He is always invading even this small private time, but I usually respond shortly.

So around 5:50 I text and tell him I'll be home shortly. But my phone was dying. On the way home my car died. It's only 2 years old. I had no charge on my phone. I finally got someone to help me and around 6:55 I get enough charge on my phone to text to say I had a car problem. On my way.

He was out driving around looking for me! He was so angry and worried. I told him what happened and he didn't seem to care. He said I HAD to keep my phone charged at all times. Well on my way home, the car died again. Then it started back up. Finally made it home and he continued to tell me that he was a wreck and I can't not respond to texts like that ever again.

So then I ask him if he will call and take the car in .. This morning. (we both work full time). He said I needed to handle it and to call the dealership and they will provide a loaner.

So does that all sound normal to everyone?
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[dormant]

He was worried. Guys have a problem showing emotion so often real emotions come across as anger.

As for his wanting you to get the car looked at yourself, that is something my wife would do herself.

 

[Tikii]

He was worried. My husband is an amazing man, has no trust issues etc, but would have reacted the same.
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[questionme2]

I get that. But he knows I'm going to break down on the highway again on my way in to work. I don't have time to take it to the dealership either... I work too!

I just thought that he should have offered to take it to work in case it breaks down again!

He was worried. My husband is an amazing man, has no trust issues etc, but would have reacted the same.
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[Tikii]

My husband wouldn't. His job is just as important as mine. He would let me take care of my own car as far as taking it to the shop. I know you aren't going to like this, but I think you are picking, trying to find a problem.
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[Liam]

Completely agree with the other posters that say it was serious worry manifesting itself as anger I don't think he's being unreasonable about you getting the car fixed either. You probably wouldn't take too kindly to him asking you to take his car to get fixed, I'm guessing

 

[questionme2]

Well, it actually is his car...but I've been driving it lately.

I understand what you guys are saying...I appreciate the feedback.

Completely agree with the other posters that say it was serious worry manifesting itself as anger I don't think he's being unreasonable about you getting the car fixed either. You probably wouldn't take too kindly to him asking you to take his car to get fixed, I'm guessing

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[Ten_year_hubby]

Finally made it home and he continued to tell me that he was a wreck and I can't not respond to texts like that ever again.
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It could be quite a challenge to be certain that you would never not respond like that ever again. Ask him to buy you a spare battery for your phone and make himself responsible to be sure it's fully charged at all times and that you have it with any time you leave him.

 

[Toffer]

Sorry but I also agree that it seems like you're looking for a fight.

He texted you while you were out and you found that to be "invading even this small private time". Poor guy missed you, needed some possible input on the child and then was concerned enough about YOU to get in his car to look for you and HE'S the bad guy here?

 

[questionme2]

Well I guess the problem is.. HE falls off the map. Won't respond to texts etc all the time when I need his help with child care etc... We are both working and he just avoids communication if he knows he is needed.

So I felt like he was doing a lot of this to make a point. To essentially say "f U" to me.

Sorry but I also agree that it seems like you're looking for a fight.

He texted you while you were out and you found that to be "invading even this small private time". Poor guy missed you, needed some possible input on the child and then was concerned enough about YOU to get in his car to look for you and HE'S the bad guy here?

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[heavensangel]

My H would have responded the same way, as would have I, to not being able to find/communicate with you. That can be scary. No one wants to get 'that phone call'.

However, getting it to the dealer....... My H would have responded differently. Not wanting to take the chance that I might be stranded on the road alone, he would have followed me to the dealer to make sure I arrived ok before heading to work. This is something we'd do for each other out of LOVE & common courtesy.

 

[Toffer]

Well I guess the problem is.. HE falls off the map. Won't respond to texts etc all the time when I need his help with child care etc... We are both working and he just avoids communication if he knows he is needed.

So I felt like he was doing a lot of this to make a point. To essentially say "f U" to me.

Can't put my finger on it here. There's something deeper going on....

Are you saying he avoids communications while he's at work? Are you constantly reaching out to him during his "alone" time and feel that he's now doing it to you to show you what it's like?

Regardless, he did still come looking for you

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