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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Brief summary of my story. I have posted before. My husband and I had a great relationship for the first 10 months and it all changed due to one little phone call from his ex, he had no control over it and didn't respond. But due to my stupid fears even though we were engaged I acted like a major dumb *ss because I was scared he would go back,so yes I was an idiot and changed toward him and pushed him away.

He said since that day I changed and turned away from him. But he stayed and wanted to marry me anyway. Why I dont't know! Well dealing with me acting the way I have has caused him to change. He is bitter, angry, and resentful toward me and how can I blame him.

He told me I will never be happy till I stop being so unhappy with how things have gotten. And than he asked me if I ever thought if I could be happy with him again? And that this is so hard for him because he used to make me so happy and I was smiling and happy to see him and wanted to be near him.

I know how he feels. I also feel it. We used to adore each other, we would just beam at each other, now it seems we both feel like neither one of us can do anything right by the other one, it used to be so easy and natural.

The hard thing is all the wasted months (2 years come Feb if we don't stop) of the same stupid fights. Its my fault /his fault, mean hurtful things have been said, names have been called. But I know we both love each other dearly and are both hurting that we have changed toward one another, because as he said to me yesterday you used to be so content with me.

What can I do to move past the anger, hurt, the resentment, and get back to the loving relationship we had. Show him I am that girl he feel in love with. To live, laugh, love, and not feel like life is so ughh. I know we both long to feel the way we did. I miss the way he used to look at me so happily, and he so misses my affection. I will appreciate any thoughts.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Ok no we never tried marriage counseling.

The fights are just how we relate to each other, how we miss how we were. Like I said its all so petty. This seems like this should have been a easy fix along time ago. Your comment great I know he married me, he chose me.

Well she phoned the day before valentine's day 2011 told him to call her but not at that # cause of her boyfriend. She called on VD to wish him a happy one. He never answered or replied but I told him these calls made me uncomfortable because she wasn't just calling to be nice she still wanted him. He didn't see it that way and he is a softy so he has a hard time being mean and didn't think he could tell her to go away.

She called again a few Friday nights, to say Hi. She called him that Easter. He didn't respond but he never told her to get lost is what made me uneasy and welcome my stupid change. Didn't hear from her again until our wedding day 10 minutes before our wedding ceremony she facebooked a family member of his wanting her to hug him for her and that our wedding dayhad been on her mind for so long. I don't know that's it.
 

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You have to let this go. If you did there would be nothing to fight about, since it's all about this ex. It's over, it's done, he chose YOU. Get over it and be happy with your husband.
 

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Why did the ex and him break up? Who left who? I think your husband responded in the way most women would have applauded, he didn't even answer her! To blame him for her calling, taking it out on him like you have is...Way over the top! And him being that "softy" is likely one of the reasons you adore him.

Ok.... Listen... you both have Built up resentment ...going 2 yrs like this is awful, that is alot of wasted time, energy over playing anger games, constant fighting ...Oh my .... FORGIVENESS is needed here.

And vulnerabilty of the
before each other...... you both want the same things...each other !! You need to jump off this Merry go round ... Remember when....and TRUST that he wants YOU, only YOU, and to rekindle what you both had.

#1 - you need Better communication skills...taking ownership of your run away jealousy starting this mess... admit this before him... commit to letting this go.... Read this excellent article about healthy communication - a peice of Marraige counseling here - for free Imagine Hope Counseling Group - Our Resources - PLANTING THE SEED OF INTERDEPENDENCE

Maybe you can write yourself a letter -as a final letting go of this & you & he can have a ceremony where you watch it burn together -symbolizing - a new beginning.

Forgive each other from the
>>




http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...r-its-pain-its-beauty-how-vulnerable-you.html
 
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