[myheart]

Hi everyone, as I'm new here...

Looking for some insight on your experience with reconciliation, successful ones and unsuccessful ones.

How did the conversation go between both of you?
Were there any moments of 'does s/he not understand what I'm talking about?' ?
Any reluctance to agree to marital boundaries?
Did WS follow through on action to make up for the affair as much as possible or as soon as possible, or s/he did not?

Thank you!

(I've got one more thread I'd like to post)
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[TDSC60]

I am one who thinks that committing to reconciliation soon after discovery of an affair is sometimes the wrong thing to do.

Give yourself some time to let your emotions calm done. You may not really WANT to reconcile. Total truth concerning the affair is a must. The betraying spouse has to tell you everything you feel you need to know. Dates, locations, acts.

If R is what you really want then the betrayed spouse sets the terms and boundaries according to what kind of affair it is. But one thing for sure. If there is any hesitation on the part of the wayward spouse or any argument about boundaries, then there is no point in trying at this time. Maybe latter. Maybe never.

You seem to be concerned that your spouse will not "get it" or understand why you are asking the questions. You can probably expect exactly that attitude, especially if your spouse is the argumentative type.

So do not expect them to understand what you are going through (hopefully they will). Ask the questions you need to. If it gets argumentative, then say enough for now, we'll talk latter.