[arbitrator]

Cell-phone call/texting records, FB messages and photos, with not one, but two guys from her past that she had reconnected with on FB ~ and it was all clandestinely going on while we were still "lovingly" living in the same house together as husband and wife!

But this wasn't actually discovered until some 10 months into the separation process!

 

[Monroe]

As I was walking out the door to pick my daughter up from school, my husband blurted out "I've been thinking about divorce." I said "Excuse me? What?" It was the first time divorce was ever mentioned regarding our marriage.

When I returned home from picking up our daughter (about 5 minutes later), I asked him what was up with what he said. He told me he didn't mean it... it just slipped out and he wasn't really thinking about divorce and he was sorry.

It got my spidey senses all tingling and I went full Nancy Drew. I looked in his email and saw an email titled "100 reasons why I love you". My name wasn't in the send box... it was the woman he had been having a 74 day EA with. An old girlfriend from over 2 decades ago. They reconnected on Facebook.

 

[jupiter13]

I had just returned from hip replacement and recovery hospital stay about a month when he came home one night high as a kite got angry with me, became violent and blurted out about being with three women, wanted a divorce etc. He went to jail. 3 weeks later I let him come home and enter MC and PC.

 

[Bellavista]

When I accidently downloaded H's work emails onto our home computer & found an email from his mother stating how pleased she was that he was finding happiness with the OW. (He was away o/seas at the time).
Gotta love the MIl who thinks it is not her business to tell you that the father of her grandchildren is planning to desert his family.

 

[doc_martin]

first affair? WW left her phone at home and asked me to bring it to her, forgot to erase messages.

Second affair? I was turning 40 and she was making me a secret photo album of professionally done lingerie/nude photos. She said she couldn't keep a secret and tried to send me one. The attachment didn't go through so I went into her email to retrieve it...where I found she had sent that photo and three others to a dad at our son's school. I still got the photo album as my birthday present (HA!). It's very nicely bound with a red ribbon, a print of lips kissing and a "for your eyes only" sign on it. The irony is not lost on me. I have never looked at it.

 

[WhyDoIFeelThisWay]

Had a gut feeling, started investigating, then made him take a polygraph test. At the test he admitted to a ONS a few years after we were married, and to 4 happy endings at massage parlors.

Just found out a week ago, thought that if I found out he was cheating I would be done, but realized I don't want to give up on 14 years of marriage. I am hoping we can get through this and move on, but worried because it seems like many who cheat continue to do it again. Only time will tell.

 

[twoforwardoneback]

I knew all along that it was happening, my STBXH was always hanging out with 'his really good friend' and my gut just said it was something more. I cracked the password on his phone and read his texts, nothing too bad from him but some really suggestive stuff from her. I went into some pretty serious denial, believing him when he said it was all in my head, but knowing just KNOWING that it wasn't like he kept saying. He sent me to a psychiatrist to have me deal with my jealousy issues and my irrational fantasies of his affair. He actually had that kind of power over me, to make me feel like i was totally crazy when i wasn't. The lid blew off when i got a facebook message from someone with a fake account telling me all the gory details and telling me that they had heard it directly from my H's daughter. I grilled her (because i knew my STBXH would lie and deny... as always.. and then make me feel like a crazy for accusing him) and she broke down spat out the story. I not only felt like he had betrayed me but she was my stepdaughter for 10 years, i was a second mother to her (so she always told me), and she knew about the A for about 6 months and didn't tell me at all. Blood will always be thicker than water i guess. I kinda' feel bad for her, she must have been torn inbetween telling and not telling, but it hurts me nonetheless that she chose to be silent all that time the way she did. That was about 6 months ago, we are divorcing... The OW and i talked, she tried demonising me,saying i wasn't making him happy and she wanted him to be happy because she loves him and if i loved him i would want that too but i obviously don't. WTF??! I am still hurting. I am trying to deal with it rationally but some days i am still so angry about it i could take to things with a baseball bat. I moved out (see my other thread) and he has new girlfriend already living with him.
So now there is all the old hurt, the old anger, being compounded by the new hurt and the new anger.
My life has turned into a farce.

 

[husbandfool]

This was great! It wasn't my wife but, a woman I was in a serious relationship with, before I met my wife ....

She had 2 kids I had 3. She seemed a bit weird to me lately at the time. One week I asked if she want to visit Boston for the weekend, see the flower show and have a fun getaway in the city. She declined saying she had too much to do with her kids and couldn't get a sitter for the weekend anyway. She was also too busy to get together.

So, I had a quiet weekend at home with the kids, doing chores, etc.
I woke up Sunday morning to find a number of voice messages from her on my cell phone. The calls were made late Saturday night. She had accidentally "butt-dialed" my number and it went right to my voice mail since my phone was off. Lo and behold I was able to hear a long chunk of her late night "dinner" conversation with some guy. It was so long that it generated multiple stored messages. The conversation was very interesting and this guy was definitely trying to get into her pants. What a hoot! She did the spying for me. : )
I found out she, and this man, had gone for a weekend away to Cape Cod. It was one of those vacation condo deals where you get a free weekend but, they put on a hard sell for you to buy. She was gone from Friday until late Sunday. I'll bet they were just playing a lot of cribbage together! : )

I broke up with her right after that. I didn't need any more. Soon after, she moved to Texas to start afresh. I should find her and send her a thank you note for saving me a lot of heartache.