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I believe the reason I tend to find more bad stories of antidepressents and marriage on the Internet is due to people turning to the Internet when they have problems, but not posting anything if everything is going well (much like I do)

So I would like to solicit ANY responses, negative AND positive about what antidepressents did for your marriage or relationship. My wife started lexapro, and quite simply, I don't know what to expect. Do you come off of them? Take them forever? Do they help you focus and accomplish goals? Do they numb you like others say?

And importantly, how do they affect a marriage. Can they truly help a once floundering marriage due to a depressed spouse survive and get back to thriving?
 

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Lexapro is a great med for women. It works fast (within 4 days) and the side affects are minimal. Ideally what should happen is she should take meds in conjunction with therapy to deal with the source of the depression. They help give you energy and enough feel good stuff to work on your life and yes accomplish goals. They do not numb you they just well take the edge off.

As to how they would affect a marriage I guess it would depend on what the problem is. I know you say it's due to her depression but rarely do marital problems lie in just one spouse. It's likely you are unknowingly doing something to either enable or add to her depression. So counseling for you or at least read up on the subject would be in order.

To think a pill can solve everything without you guys putting forth any work is naive.
 

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Moderate to severe chronic depression is a medical condition just like diabetes. You treat it you manage it.
 

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Hi hqusafa
Im being honest here and its really uncomfortable. Ive suffered with the dark dog (depression) for 15 years. Its hard for me to admit it because Im a typical male and "we dont have depression"....

It started because of the long hours I worked (80ish aweek). So my head decided to tell me it was time to stop or be stopped. I had a breakdown which ment that I counldnt work and for a workaholic that was incredibly painful (and still is) I was placed on antidepressive by my doctor and referred for phyco councilling which I went to and didnt really feel it helped but I admit the medication did bolster me and help with mood swings whcih of course didnt just hit me it effected my wife and daughter who I say here have been nothing less than incredible. I suffered a second breakdown 3 years ago because of the same issue (once is bad twice is dman stupid of me) I still take 45g grms nightly of the meds.

Positives it helped .............negitives Its something I hate to take as I feel like a inept, weak person, They are always a reminder that my heads not in the right place, Ive tried to come off and the side effects of doing this are very uncomfortable as I feeel like my brain is taking seconds to catch up with me. I cannot drink wine since being on them as I get the most horrendous headaches within minutes of drinking it. I have to tell every medical person Im on them liek wearing a sign saying leppa. I have insurance cover which will never pay out whilst Im taking these, I have to record these meds on any insurance i take out so it makes me feel really down as I often think Im being disadvantaged because of them. BUT they have kept me level for all this time. Sadly I was due to ween off these this year until I had an accident and contracted e-coli following this - Now the Dr refuses to take me off these until Im "better" and then itll be at least another 12 months

I dont think my W would be still with me (she says she would) if I hadnt been taking these meds to help. I certainly hate the effect that depression has on my family and it HAS caused me to loose 2 great jobs because of it.......

I really would rather be off these NOW, but it aint going to happen yet so I have to accept it. But like a christmas gift Im really looking forward to it................one day.
 

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I took Paxil and Wellbutrin. Combined, they helped me feel like actually accomplishing things. They didn't change me, didn't make me feel weird (at all), didn't give me any side effects. I just would wake up and, instead of just working, coming home, and just sitting, I'd wake up, maybe go to the gym, and maybe work on a project when I got home, or spend some time on a real dinner. It was just a subconscious drive that I didn't have before.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I'm reading all the replies.

I took Paxil and Wellbutrin. Combined, they helped me feel like actually accomplishing things. They didn't change me, didn't make me feel weird (at all), didn't give me any side effects. I just would wake up and, instead of just working, coming home, and just sitting, I'd wake up, maybe go to the gym, and maybe work on a project when I got home, or spend some time on a real dinner. It was just a subconscious drive that I didn't have before.
This seems to be the case here. Too soon to tell (for me to be able to tell at least), but I'm glad to get positive views instead of googling it and only finding the horror stories of people deciding to sleep around or things like that.
 

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After two years of counseling, a near-death experience, and debilitating stress, I saw a nuro-psychologist for evaluation. After two days of testing, he recommended I take a low dose anti-depressant. I've now been on Zoloft for more than a year. It has alleviated some of my confusion and has help maintain some focus. I still have "down" days, but they aren't as bad or frequent as before.

Antidepressants can be beneficial, if a person is properly evaluated. Don't rely on a general practitioner to find the best medication match for your individual condition. One size fits all (or whatever the drug rep is pushing for the week) DOES NOT work for everyone.
 

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I was on Seroxat (Paxil) for 8 years. I gained 80 pounds, developed high cholesterol, high blood sugar and lived in a fog much of that time.

Coming off Seroxat was extremely difficult, and I had to use the drug in liquid form, with a syringe, and wean off it very slowly (a monthly 10% taper of whatever dosage I was on). Weaning off it any faster proved impossible due to very bad withdrawals symptoms, but I did it and would never touch an SSRI again. 5 years meds free and I've never felt better!

IME, there isn't an anti-depressant in this world that will cure our problems, whereas therapy will help us find the tools to work through them.
 

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My wife started lexapro
Scam.
Lexapro and Celexa are almost the exact same thing. Imagine a scenario where you are going to buy pairs of scissors for your office, and you know that all of your coworkers are right handed.
Option A (Lexapro) - 10 right handed scissors for $20
Option B (Celexa) - 10 right handed scissors and 10 left handed scissors for $5.
Both options are using the same brand and quality of scissors.

Which one would you pick? Obviously you would take Option B. It's much cheaper, and the left handed scissors can be thrown out if nobody wants them. Since Lexapro is patented and Celexa is no longer patented, you are currently picking Option A - paying a hell of a lot more just to get the same number of right handed scissors.


, and quite simply, I don't know what to expect. Do you come off of them? Take them forever? Do they help you focus and accomplish goals? Do they numb you like others say?
I was on Celexa (citalopram) for about half a year. Overall, it was good. It made me more sociable and motivated to organize people. The down side is that it had severe withdrawal in the evening, causing me to feel very alone and hopeless, even if I was surrounded by friends. A lot of goals were accomplished during that time. It numbs negative emotions but not positive ones. When I felt good, I felt really good. When I felt bad, I only felt a little bad. Someone I know announced that they had an incurable form of cancer, and it didn't seem to bother me. I was acting positive and fun while everyone else acted like the guy was already dead.

And importantly, how do they affect a marriage. Can they truly help a once floundering marriage due to a depressed spouse survive and get back to thriving?
Depends on the person. Some people just go with their gut feeling and act crazy when they feel crazy. In people like that, Lexapro and Celexa are terrible ideas. When that drug wears off and they feel terrible, they'll pick fights with people and argue over nothing. Drugs are only a good idea for people who are aware of why they feel a certain way. If your wife is the kind of person who makes drunk phone calls or gets into fights when drunk, drugs are a bad idea.
 

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My husband and I both take antidepressants. I've been on them for 9 years, he started a couple years ago. I've tried going off them a couple of times or going to a lower dosage but I feel taking them is just the best. Like others have said, aside from my actual emotions, it just gives me the boost I need to get out of bed. Depression has a lot of negative symptoms- not in the traditional sense of the word but the medical or psychiatric sense- it takes away from you. Apathy, anhedonia, psychomotor retardation. I've found meds help me, and my husband, the most with that.

As far as helping a marriage, I definitely think it can give someone the energy to actually work on things. My husband is in a more down period right now and it definitely affects our marriage. When he is feeling more normal, things are that much better. But if you feel like crap/want to die all the time, having a successful marriage doesn't always seem possible. If you can't get out of bed, how are you going to put effort into your sexual relationship? Into developing as individuals together? In going on dates? It's not a cure-all fixer, but I think it can give someone the energy to fight. I'd recommend couples counseling as well though. It might give your wife energy but not necessarily all the insight or plan to work through things.
 

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I wish you luck regarding your depression. There are different types of antidepressants. For the most part, when you start off on a new medication, it is at a low dose. Usually, for that dose, it will take about 4 weeks to feel the full effect. If you are doing ok, on it, then your MD will prescribe a higher dosage.

For some, that have side effects, they can get over those minor ones in a week or so (cotton mouth; agitation). For others, its more of a problem and they must get off of the medication and try something different.

Don't give up. It's not unusual to try several along the way. It takes some patience.

There is no miracle pill but having some counseling with medications can be very effective.
 

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My husband was on Lexapro for a couple of months, the lowest dosage. For him, it turned him into a zombie, we both feel he was worse on them than off, so he came off them after 6 months. He was on them for anxiety more than depression.
I was on an anti-depressant about 12 years ago, can't remember the type. I was on them for 3 months, they helped me through a rough patch, I did not need them again after that.
It seems the effects are different for every different person.
 

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I think they help life out in general and everything to do with it! They don't technically make you happier, but they make it easier to deal with drama and stress in an optimistic approach. It's very settling to know that no matter what you face, it comes with ease and grace.
 
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