Was discussing this with a friend whose spouse also cheated.
When my wife had her affair I chose not to go to a counsellor, but leaned on a good friend to talk through issues. As we reconciled I continued to do so. From time to time over the years there are three or four people I have leaned on.
The friend I was discussing with also went to counselling as well as leaning on other friends. She took the view that her discussions with friends were between them and none of them told their husbands.
I, on the other hand, have offered to tell my wife everything that was discussed in the interests of full transparency, if she wants. I have warned her that some of it would be painful...we were discussing a marriage that came close to divorce and was bad for years, after all!
So what do others think? Do you tell your spouse everything if they want to know? Or is it ok not to tell what is discussed in counselling sessions? Or worse, is it actually damaging to tell what is discussed?
When my wife had her affair I chose not to go to a counsellor, but leaned on a good friend to talk through issues. As we reconciled I continued to do so. From time to time over the years there are three or four people I have leaned on.
The friend I was discussing with also went to counselling as well as leaning on other friends. She took the view that her discussions with friends were between them and none of them told their husbands.
I, on the other hand, have offered to tell my wife everything that was discussed in the interests of full transparency, if she wants. I have warned her that some of it would be painful...we were discussing a marriage that came close to divorce and was bad for years, after all!
So what do others think? Do you tell your spouse everything if they want to know? Or is it ok not to tell what is discussed in counselling sessions? Or worse, is it actually damaging to tell what is discussed?