Vows!? How about forsaking all others? Some spouses start forsaking their own spouses too by refusing intimacy. I believe refusing intimacy with a spouse because you just no longer feel like it, is sexually immoral behavior because that spouse is bound to you.There is truth to some seeking martyrdom.
There used to be a podcast called “ The Sexless Marriage Struggle”
It was by a guy in his 40s that called himself Chris who’s wife had not touched him in 10 years. In fact they only had sex in the first few years of their marriage until they had 2 kids and then she stopped.
He would carry on about how miserable he was and how deeply it had effected his self esteem and confidence and enjoyment of life.
He would frequently read emails from his listeners who would pretty much universally urge him to divorce and move on.
He would spend the rest of the podcast lecturing on how he had made “vows” and that he was a man of honor and fortitude that’s keeps his promises blah blah blah.
So in other words he would whine and moan about how miserable he was in a sexless marriage, but then turn right around and brag and boast about how honorable he was and how much strength and integrity he has for tolerating it and living with it like people get some kind medal or plague on the wall for living with deprivation and misery.
So for some people, it really is a martyr thing.
You can see some of the same thing here where people will talk about how miserable they are,, but then almost brag about how they are standing by their vows and how much misery and hardship they can take.