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. You certainly won’t attract quality men which is why you settled for a weak man like your husband. The only men you attract are players and weaklings.
This is worthy of its own thread and discussion point.

My wise old school marm mother would refer to this as people being like water who seek their own level.

A low quality, narcissistic, materialistic and self absorbed woman is not going to get a quality man who has self respect and who wants an equal partner to make a home and family with.

As stated above, the men she attracts will be from two camps- the playa’s and ****boys who just want a place to park their schlong for a night or two,,,,, and the pathetic, weaklings so desperate to have a woman around that they will accept whatever poop she flings in their face that she won’t be able to respect or desire.

This applies to men and women egually - to get a quality partner that is a good person, attractive, a good lover and a loyal and faithful partner ,,, one must also be a good person, attractive and competent lover and and a loyal and faithful partner.

Otherwise you get what you are.
 

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The sooner people realize that nearly everyone puts themselves first with other adults, the less confusion there will be.

Back when I used to work in an office with mostly men who always had opportunity to cheat, they would just openly talk about getting sex on the side and keeping their wives in the dark. And from my vantage point, it appeared they married mild wives who were willing to keep their blinders on and not raise a fuss.

I knew the mistress of one of them because she ended up working in the office, and it turns out she was also a part-time call girl. She herself told me when I asked if she wanted to go to lunch that she doesn't eat unless a man pays for it. She had zero conscience but I mean she was a pleasant enough girl. I went shopping with her a couple of times and work threw
us together at after work functions. Her sister did the same thing.

The man had been married a long time and was a real good looking guy and the story he put out there because he was so openly cheating on his wife was that his wife was mentally ill so he couldn't leave her. The old yarn. he had a younger sister who worked with a guy I dated for a while so I got a lot of information on the whole situation that I wouldn't normally have had.

There very often is culpability on both sides. He was good looking and witty and had a good job. for whatever reason his wife put up with whatever he decided to do.
So, UGH for this whole story. Sorry you ever had to work with such awful people.
 

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Yeah, there were some creeps, but they weren't all creeps. Some of them were salesmen, not someone I had to put up with daily.
 

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There are some men, like the Donald Trumps and Rupert Murdocks of the world who will willingly date and marry narcissistic, materialistic women primarily because they have the economic clout and lawyers to do so. So such women can land these men, but they have a small pool of fish to go after and the competition is much more intense. Jerry Hall divorced Mick Jagger and took up with old Rupert with no compunction whatsoever.
 

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It's a shame that ANYONE has to ever put up with people like that.
They were popular guys who had some leverage and that's why they were able to do whatever they pretty much wanted to do. There are women who will go along with it. And that's my point.
 

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They were popular guys who had some leverage and that's why they were able to do whatever they pretty much wanted to do. There are women who will go along with it. And that's my point.
OH I DO get your point -- I just find that type of behavior repugnant and would never willingly associate with them (hence the "sorry you had to work with them"!). I don't care if they were popular, or good looking, or .... INSIDE they are ugly (the men AND women).
 

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People are people.. they do what they want. That’s why a person of character which shows a little self discipline is a rare thing. To find a super attractive woman like the OP describes herself, that has some character, is even harder. It’s super easy for a very attractive person to become an entitled narcissist because they’re given lots of things and coddled From an early age.
I could be wrong.
 

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People are people.. they do what they want. That’s why a person of character which shows a little self discipline is a rare thing. To find a super attractive woman like the OP describes herself, that has some character, is even harder. It’s super easy for a very attractive person to become an entitled narcissist because they’re given lots of things and coddled From an early age.
I could be wrong.
But aren't there certain people who are "super-attractive" to different people? I think it IS possible to find people you are super-attracted TO, who have good character...maybe people should look at the character FIRST, and let the attraction grow from there...??

I just don't understand being only physically attracted to someone...if there isn't something else there, I feel NO attraction, no matter how "perfect" they look. Maybe it's a guy-thing to only notice looks?
 

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But aren't there certain people who are "super-attractive" to different people? I think it IS possible to find people you are super-attracted TO, who have good character...maybe people should look at the character FIRST, and let the attraction grow from there...??

I just don't understand being only physically attracted to someone...if there isn't something else there, I feel NO attraction, no matter how "perfect" they look. Maybe it's a guy-thing to only notice looks?
I’ve been out with a few gorgeous women and only one was fun to be around, the others held no interest in my head. Of course they did before I met them .....
The most beautiful, I never really figured out much about her but I liked her, she was fabulously beautiful, and amazing in bed..... apparently just wasn’t into me....
She may have been a nympho.....
 

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There are some men, like the Donald Trumps and Rupert Murdocks of the world who will willingly date and marry narcissistic, materialistic women primarily because they have the economic clout and lawyers to do so. So such women can land these men, but they have a small pool of fish to go after and the competition is much more intense. Jerry Hall divorced Mick Jagger and took up with old Rupert with no compunction whatsoever.
Well, that's a case of like attracts like but with money involved.

Jerry Hall divorced Mick because he knocked up another woman. And it was years before she remarried, but no doubt it was for money so she and the kiddos could continue their extravagant lifestyles.
 

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But aren't there certain people who are "super-attractive" to different people? I think it IS possible to find people you are super-attracted TO, who have good character...maybe people should look at the character FIRST, and let the attraction grow from there...??

I just don't understand being only physically attracted to someone...if there isn't something else there, I feel NO attraction, no matter how "perfect" they look. Maybe it's a guy-thing to only notice looks?
me too. Its a mans character and personality that I am drawn to the most.
 

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Are you sure about that, at the time their actions were the same and you know people by their actions. I hold by what I said, at least when they were cheating they were no different then OP.
Yes sure. Some of them were in my own family or married to people in my family.
 

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Well, that's a case of like attracts like but with money involved.

Jerry Hall divorced Mick because he knocked up another woman. And it was years before she remarried, but no doubt it was for money so she and the kiddos could continue their extravagant lifestyles.
Yeah but Jerry left Bryan Ferry (of Roxy Music) for Mick. So she got her karma.

And I doubt highly that she was left bereft after her D from Mick. If I recall it was a rather humongous payoff.
 

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She was still really young and Mick Jagger was just a huge icon to her. She got a big settlement and remained cordial with Mick, and I understand he lived right next door. But she had a couple of kids doing modeling and they were all just living a very extravagant lifestyle.

Ferry's exwife also remarried for money. If there's been any kids produced from either of those two marriages of convenience I haven't heard about it.
 

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If there's one thing I've learned here on TAM, it almost never works out for the guy, if he gets into a situation where he has to "fight" for a wife who has had an affair. The "pick me" or "fight for me" game provides some egotistical thrills to the cheating spouse, but usually does nothing more than further emasculate the guy.

What you ask is very different from the only real way I've seen TAM relationships saved. How would your react if you came home and found he'd packed your bags, got a ticket for you to fly to your parent's, and gave YOU a choice, right then and there, with rules and requirements and an automatic exit, no further chances, if you screwed up?

That's what be something a real man who got his act together before caving in would do. Before your emasculation had destroyed him.

Where do you get off giving HIM the choice? It's his to give you.
Pick me will achieve nothing, Force, power, and take no prisoners attitude wins every time.
 

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But aren't there certain people who are "super-attractive" to different people? I think it IS possible to find people you are super-attracted TO, who have good character...maybe people should look at the character FIRST, and let the attraction grow from there...??

I just don't understand being only physically attracted to someone...if there isn't something else there, I feel NO attraction, no matter how "perfect" they look. Maybe it's a guy-thing to only notice looks?
Speaking as a guy, before you know what someone is like, isn't physical attraction basically all there is? I can still be 110% physically attracted to someone yet not want to even be in the same room with them.

That can't be just a guy thing, can it?
 
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