Wow...I know what it's like to make mistakes.Basicly im an idiot.
A year ago i cheated on my husband with a guy i met off a dating site. I ended up getting caught and admitted to it all and promised i would never do it again as it was horrible to see the pain my husband was going through.
I apparantly have a short memory span because i was stupid enough to do it again although he doesnt know for a fact i did. I dont want to admit to it for 2 reasons.
1) I am hoping it will go away if i stick to my story
2) If i do admit to it i will lose him for good.
We have been together for 12 years and i had never cheated until that first time and without making excuses because there really isnt any It all started after my dad died and i gave birth. I turned into a different person.
Anyway, he has kicked me out and wont even speak to me, it has been a month now and im at the point where im starting to panic because I know how stupid ive been and i dont know what to do or how to try and fix it.
What to do???
Your husband was too easy on you the first time or you would have changed. If you accepted responsibility and made changes the first time it wouldn't have happened again.
If he takes you back it will happen a third time because something is wrong inside of you. I know because I've had to change the way I think to overcome my issues.
You need to show him you are working on yourself. This will take time. You need to go to counseling solo for awhile and find out what's going on with you.
You will need to be honest with him about the second time. FULL DISCLOSURE. There is no way to move forward without this.
Let me ask you this...did you have full on sex both of these times and were both times the result of Internet activity?