[Helpmesee]

I'm sure it was very hard to hear him say this. I'm so sorry. I know it hurts but now you have your answer. You can move forward knowing the truth.

I recommend you find yourself a lawyer and start the divorce process. From personal experience, the quicker you divorce, the quicker you can plan for your future. You may find therapy useful. You also mentioned being able to work from anywhere. Maybe a change in address would be helpful.

Not so much hard, but a bit cathartic. I just realized I may be waiting months for something that may never happen and while I still love him I can't and won't place my life on hold. My therapist is now doing checks on me every day due to the number of panic attacks I've had.

My main concern right now is my immigration status, so I'll go to a solicitor to see my options for that. He has offered to pay for all of this (he's probably going to ask his parents for money as he's broke--they don't agree with the divorce so I'm going to see how this plays out). I think we're going to have to be separated for a while before the divorce is finalized.

 

[Helpmesee]

YES! It sounds like you bent over backwards to help him for years, and he still says he wants to move on with his life as a single man for whatever reason. You have to look out for yourself and your happiness now. Does the above quote mean that you won't wait on him to file? I hope so. Life is short and all we have are a few precious years--move forward to divorce with alacrity so that you can seek happiness by yourself or with someone else. You deserve happiness, too.

He's broke and has no money but feels like he should pay. He said he was going to borrow money from his parents, but his parent doesn't agree with the divorce and think he needs to continue therapy. I'm in the UK and we have to separate for a year before the divorce anyway. I've offered we just take time apart and then come back to whether he wants a divorce or not but he said he wants to just get this over with 🤷🏾‍♀️.

So, I'm not going to wait in terms of making sure I have my stuff in order, but I've expressed that since this is something he's pushing for want he should pay for it.

 

[Helpmesee]

UPDATE:
Found his profile on a dating website. I'm placing the divorce Monday, and because it's adultery I can divorce immediately.

 

[Luckylucky]

UPDATE:
Found his profile on a dating website. I'm placing the divorce Monday, and because it's adultery I can divorce immediately.

That’s usually what’s going on when someone is clearly telling you over and over they don’t want to be married, but too lazy to get a divorce. They’re rarely tell the truth, but he told you in so many ways he didn’t want to be married. Sorry. Yes, they’re usually already dating.

It didn’t sound like depression to me.

 

[Helpmesee]

That’s usually what’s going on when someone is clearly telling you over and over they don’t want to be married, but too lazy to get a divorce. They’re rarely tell the truth, but he told you in so many ways he didn’t want to be married. Sorry. Yes, they’re usually already dating.

It didn’t sound like depression to me.

He told me he didn't want a relationship anymore with anyone and wanted to be single.
His profile says he's looking for a long-term relationship.
He's so depressed, so broke, and still living with his parents.
I don't know how long he had this profile, but I took pictures of it and am filing this myself. I'm not waiting for him.

I let him know that I knew (no cursing) and blocked him. I canceled my cards, and am no longer paying for his therapy.
I'm letting his parents know as well. I

I've wasted too many tears on this and now I don't want anything to do with him.

 

[romantic_dreamer]

Why do you want to stay with someone that is a boat anchor on your life? Do you feel you couldn’t find a better partner? Put your emotions aside for a second and look at the big picture. He really doesn’t have much value as a mate and you would probably be a lot better off finding someone worth your time. People like him just end up being totally exhausting and you spend your life always trying to prop them up and get them going. What a major drag.

So how is it for better or for worse? So if it is worse than just leave, yeah?

 

[Beach123]

Is he working?

I’m glad you found out what’s really going on!

I ask about his work because you should request spousal support. Maybe to be repaid any money your out too - since the time he got “depressed”.

 

[Jimi007]

Well , now you have your proof...

I'll bet it's a relief .

I'm glad you now see what many have told you.

 

[lifeistooshort]

Now you see. He wants to see if he can do better and if he can't he'll be back.

He needs a meal ticket.....that's why they want to be "friends".

Think hard about where you want him back and whether you're ok being a backup plan.

 

[Mr.Married]

So how is it for better or for worse? So if it is worse than just leave, yeah?

Yes absolutely when they have reached this level of dysfunction and they are telling you they want you to leave and for them to be single ….. you can surely bet the answer is yes.

 

[Relentless1]

I'm sorry you found this out and are going through this. You did nothing to deserve this. It doesn't matter what his mental health issues are, there is no excuse to treat you the way he did. He was callous with your feelings (and maybe even your health), stringing you along while he tried to monkey branch.

Glad you are now out of "indecision land" and can move forward. Your life is going to be so much better and brighter without him dragging you down.