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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i've recently gotten information that my ex husband may have had an emotional affair while we were still together. I don't know if it's because it was 5 yrs ago and i've had time, but the thought of him having feelings for another woman while we were together doesn't bother me.
 

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Different strokes, I guess.

For me, the emotional betrayal is as damaging as the physical. Maybe even more so. But more than anything, the TRUE damage is in the lies and deceptions to hide the affair. That will always bother me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
ok, so what exactly consitutes an emotional affair? Does just having feelings for smeone else make it an emotional afair, or does it start when the 2 parties start dicussing their feelings for each other?

I think the fact that it's been 5 yrs may have lessoned my reaction to the possibility, but now i'm curious to when an emotional affair starts.
 

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ok, so what exactly consitutes an emotional affair? Does just having feelings for smeone else make it an emotional afair, or does it start when the 2 parties start dicussing their feelings for each other?

I think the fact that it's been 5 yrs may have lessoned my reaction to the possibility, but now i'm curious to when an emotional affair starts.
I think it's when the WS begins to share and confide information, feelings, opinions, emotions that were formerly reserved for the BS. It's when the WS would rather text the AP vs talk with the BS. During our false R, I would ask my stbxw what she and the POSOM texted about (when I thought it was just texting) - and she would answer "life.... marriage... kids... all sorts of things". That's a time (during her one year EA) when my stbxw would hardly say two words at dinner to me or our children - tuned out. That's when I got the ILYBINILWY speech and when we went to our first round of MC (disasterous). Just before separation, my stbxw admitted that the texting had eventually morphed to sexting. Two weeks after moving out, my stbxw admitted that the sexting led to a 4 month PA the summer following her EA (she admitted this 3 years after the fact).

I can honestly say that if my wife had admitted to simply "banging the guy" in a state of blind lust - I would have an easier time dealing with it than knowing that this guy was her temporary "soulmate" and that she carried on a 1 year EA leading to the 4 -5 month PA.
 
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