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Discussion Starter #1
Not sure what to do. Inspection report came back, mostly cosmetic, but to the tune of 7800 worth of repairs (more like upgrades)... Anywho, I'm fine with coming back with final offer to credit up to $1300 in repairs.. which would affect our profit and we might bring home $2500 with that offer. H is furious and thinks that we need to wait. IN THIS MARKET AND IN OUR PREDICAMENT (moving out of state in one week)???? If we have to back out of sale or we lose it because we refuse to do anything, what then? We continue to pay holding costs for several months waiting on another offer and it took a month to get this offer. Same difference if it sits for two months (1300 in interest/escrow) either with no offers or another pending offer!!!

I don't get what he is so pissed about?! The mortgage is in my name only.. isn't this my decision ultimately? And the offer pays off the mortgage with a couple grand in our pocket... WTF am I missing???
 

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Discussion Starter #4
He's pissed off because he's afraid of the unknowns and doesn't know how to process it. Anger is an emotion he's familiar with.
I know you're right but I feel like I'm going crazy... And when this argument started last night it really didn't occur to me that this loan is in my name... I only want to pay it off .if we get a few bucks, great! Just not required. I just want to be done with it...

He just sent me a text telling me he guesses he needs to be okay with it.. selling this house was the biggest unknown, damned if I'm going to let a thousand or so bucks get in the way :( even with our counter, still no guarantee anyway that they'll accept.

I just feel like this was one of the most selfish arguments we've had... If he let's go of the argument now.. do I let it go too and just remember he's under stress with all this too?
 

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If he let's go of the argument now.. do I let it go too and just remember he's under stress with all this too?
To keep the peace? Yes, let it go. There's a lot going on with you guys... the house, the move, you not working, him taking care of everyone financially. It's a lot to deal with. He's under pressure that's new to him. I'm not saying it's okay to blow his stack, but again, it's what he's familiar with when it comes to dealing with problems.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
He is aware the "next" offer will come with a similar inspection report and price tag, right?
Not only that but this buyer didn't ask for any seller closing contributions, which can be a big $ amount :( our realtor recognizes this valuable little incentive for us to bend a little on these repair costs.

He accuses me of not even considering his position, not letting him be a part of family decisions?? WTF does that mean? He didn't want to offer anything towards repairs and I wanted to go with our top number... I compromised with 1300, and not the 2500 I originally suggested.. so he's still pissed?

What a fvcked up day. At least the weather is nice.
 

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Sometimes the first offer is the best offer. In the scheme of things, a couple thousand on a real estate deal is a very minor amount.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Don't start thinking like "it's in my name" and "it's my decision". You guys are a team. Selling a house is always stressful, but you can get through it. Together.
But when we're faced with a foreclosure that will affect my credit, or settling on an offer that will not pay loan off? How can I not mention that or use it in the ultimate decision when we're squabbling over a few bucks that would prevent any credit problems for me?

ETA: the main thing is to get rid of this house.. we can start saving if we don't get the cushion we were expecting.
 

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You have to appeal to him without resorting to the "it's in my name so I'm going to do what I want" attitude. Believe me, I know it's hard. Everything we own (of significance) is in my name. And it's hard not to enforce "my rule". But everytime I've done it it's led to resentment and bad juju, and I've regretted it.
 

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"Moving out of the state in one week."

I'd be all over this offer. You don't want to be dealing with this crap for too many more months...long distance.
 

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You have to appeal to him without resorting to the "it's in my name so I'm going to do what I want" attitude. Believe me, I know it's hard. Everything we own (of significance) is in my name. And it's hard not to enforce "my rule". But everytime I've done it it's led to resentment and bad juju, and I've regretted it.
I agree.

But in this case I'd be inclined to say, just sell it and fix the juju after the move.
 

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Not sure what to do. Inspection report came back, mostly cosmetic, but to the tune of 7800 worth of repairs (more like upgrades)... Anywho, I'm fine with coming back with final offer to credit up to $1300 in repairs.. which would affect our profit and we might bring home $2500 with that offer. H is furious and thinks that we need to wait. IN THIS MARKET AND IN OUR PREDICAMENT (moving out of state in one week)???? If we have to back out of sale or we lose it because we refuse to do anything, what then? We continue to pay holding costs for several months waiting on another offer and it took a month to get this offer. Same difference if it sits for two months (1300 in interest/escrow) either with no offers or another pending offer!!!

I don't get what he is so pissed about?! The mortgage is in my name only.. isn't this my decision ultimately? And the offer pays off the mortgage with a couple grand in our pocket... WTF am I missing???
I'm going to guess about something so if I'm wrong I apologize. Have you, in your discussions about this decision, said these same things to him? He's your husband right? Isn't he the only bread winner right now? I'd be pissed off about that attitude as well and would be VERY resistant to your ideas about it if you took that attitude with me if I were the H in this situation.

If you're married, it's BOTH of your decisions, just like the paycheck he earns right now supports the family in full, you equally to him...so does the house. It's in your name only to the bank. If its in your name only in YOUR mind, then there are other issues here.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
You have to appeal to him without resorting to the "it's in my name so I'm going to do what I want" attitude. Believe me, I know it's hard. Everything we own (of significance) is in my name. And it's hard not to enforce "my rule". But everytime I've done it it's led to resentment and bad juju, and I've regretted it.
I'm his wife, he should care about my concerns... What is his concern? That we're settling? That we aren't going to get that extra few grand? If we don't work something out on this, as of Oct. 1, we will be two months late, we ain't got the money for that.. its going to start affecting my credit now :( and the interest will start eating away at that money we are squabbling over anyway.

I guess I just don't understand how he can't see how this is affecting me on a personal level so much more.. I think I'm entitled to think singular for a minute on this. And the facts are with this situation, a $130K transaction directly affecting my credit potentially falling through the cracks over $1300. There is nothing we need that money for, nothing. So why the obsession over this? Ugh.. I'm just aggravated right this minute, I want to fvcking scream.
 
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