Maybe you ladies in the same situation can offer some words of wisdom. How do you control hot flashes? My husband finally understands how debilitating they can be. The other night, he rolled over to cuddle (first time in a long time). I felt that twick in my stomach and I said oh he said what's wrong. I said just wait .....all of a sudden he says you're having a hot flash aren't you? The next thing he's said is that was nuclear!! I have flashes so bad that I can feel,the perspiration dripping down my scalp! Sometimes I have to change my clothes (even my lags sweat) twice a day just to feel comfortable. HRT is not an option for me,so I'm looking at some alternatives.