Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello all,

I am new here at the forums, I have used my middle name as my username since my normal sn just seems inaproprate.

Bare with me, I am 19 and haven't been that good at spelling and grammer.

I know you all have heard all the sob stories and this and that so this is probably nothing new.

I am NOT married, but want to be. I seem to be in a one sided relationship but being suspectible to emotions shared in other ways then words or physical actions, I believe I am wrong.

I have been with my girlfriend/fiancee/ex (that is how confused I am) for almost 2 years. She is the longest relationship I have ever been in, and she is the women I lost my virginity to (if that counts for anything). Long story short, that is where things go wrong. We have a child. A 3 month old daughter who is absolutly gorgous! I love my girlfriend and daughter both, but ever since she was pregnat, things haven't been the same. Easy to fight, taking words wrong, and plain out nagging. Again I am 19, I love computers, I haven't had much hard labour or unskilled working experence in my life. The nagging is for me to get a job. Granted I need one, needed one for 12 months now. Why in the world is it so hard for me to get one and keep one is beyond me. We have fallen in and out, in and out, in and out...over and over again. The chain I see is as follows:

I move some where different(we don't live together, we have for 1 month and then the land lord kick us out since we were not on her mothers lease)

Once I settle in, get comfortable,start playing games and wasting time(which i shouldn't) she kicks me in the ass by nagging me, downing me w/e it is she needs to do to get me to get a job.

I get one, we are FINALLY happy once more and things start to unwind.

I loose the job in 2 to 5 days. ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. Relationship? I have none!

I talk her into being with me AGIAN, this is getting old...

I fight my lazyness again...successfully or not and the chain repeats.

There are break periods..This is the times when we are calm with each other but are not exactly on par. Should I say she is calm with me? Since i RARLY get mad at her, she is the one mad at me.

Other things I see are that if we are physically together for a day, it lowers the heavyness on us. USUALLY, we don't fight in person, only on the phone, and that is why I hate the phone. Also, she seems to ..well calm down...if we...well yeah...anyways moving on.

The predicament I am in now is that I love with my mother 50 mins away from her(2 hour train ride). I have a daughter I can not see every day, or even every weekend since I don't drive, my mother is more lazy then me and my gf don't have a car, the last one blew the engine.

Her family HATES ME, esspecially her gparents, they have since i met them. And she lives with them, so you'd understand how i feel about going over there.

Job....ok well when it comes to a job...I DON"T have many options around me. Since I don't have a bike, don't have a car, don't have anyone that once to help me go 10 miles to look for a job. IDK what do do when it comes to that. I lost my last job over someone that had applyed 4 hours before I applyed and there was a miscommunication. 1 day job wow, even that was hard to tell my gf.

She says I am not doing anything for my daughter, I am not helping her at all! This kills me inside since I don't want to be labeled a deadbeat dad. I was at the hospital until she recovered from the csection. When I am at the same house as my daughter,I tend to her more then her mother, i tell her to rest,REGARDLESS OF WHAT ME AND HER RELATIONSHIP IS AT! I don't have money, is that all i need to do?

My gf, tina btw, says she has everything covered because of wick, welfare and SSI, yet she will call me up sometimes to ***** at me! What does this freaking mean? Does this mean she DOES love me and she wants me to make sure we can rasie this family TOGETHER?

The lastest? HA, she was fighting me badly for the past week and then friday she calls me asking if my mother will pick her up from the train station. She wanted to get away from her gmom cuz she was talking about dyfis and tina really hasn't done ANYTHING wrong for them! Since I do love BOTH of my girls I forced my mother to allow her to come here, we had a good time even too and slept together! Then, sunday we have a christing for my daughter, christie btw, and I actually was severly hurt by tina because she didn't want to stand up to her best friend or anyone else, to give me a seat next to her. Stupid I kno but we all kno what the effects of love can do to us. We also had broke up on thursday, like i said she came friday and we saw each other sunday.

Saturday, CHILDSUPPORT HEARING...finally came in since tina told me she HAD to go on it for welfare. I am not mad at all about it but the fear of august 9 is bad..am I going to go to jail since I have NO MONEY and no job? Will they allow me to go to job core which i have not been wanting to do for over a year but feel I should?

I love tina and christie with all my heart and I don't know what to do! Tina at one point last week said she don't care if I go to jail do/don't get a job...she doesn't care any more basicly. But then she will tell me in the same sentence that she does love me and will always love me!

HELP ME PLEASE!

(btw, there is only one bus stop by my house, and it goes into a REALLY bad neighborhood that something happened to me down there so i don't go there....plus I have no money. Most jobs are 5 to 10 miles away, expect the one i JUST lost which was RIGHT FREAKING NEXT DOOR!) :(
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I have 2 things that are going for me possibly.

1. Job core. That is closer to where I live and I will be more able to vist AT LEAST my daughter but it is a 8 month with hardly any income coarce. I don't kno if the court will let me.

2.One of my best friends and cofounder of my gaming community that I run is in mississippi right now making 2k a week! His friends hired him and he still needs more ppl. It is hard labour at the MAX but the pay off is great! 2k? Wow...maybe if i start to really help tina and my daughter...our relationship gets better, I can convince her to move into are really nice appartment down there. Even if that doesn't happen, I'll be making more then enought to support my duaghter and live comfortably down there. I live in NJ right now, so visting my daughter will be really hard. Again, hell i could send 4g a month to her...but ...what will my gf do with that money i wonder. My problem with this option is that I HATE labour work, am not good at it, and get fired EASY from these type of jobs. My friends says that they are laied back there so ...yeah...idk.

Will court let me leave the state?
Will the help me find a job as my friends say? They say they must if they want money out of me?

The 13th amendment prohibits jailing of a US citizen for a debt. What is childsupport? A DEBT!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
don't have to worry about court now...and i can leave the state...amazing what one simple phone call can do...62$ a week is what i have to pay...now time to figure out how I am going to pay it!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Hey guys, no I am not dead or in jail. I was trying to figure out my life after getting the advice. Things are still not that great and the mississippi job may not be working out. Though I may have a local job so...


Me and my gf are talking better now, we aren't together exactly but still say I love you after we get off the phone.
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top