There's nothing inherently bad about hsing.... I just never thought it would happen to my family.
We have two wonderful kids, 5 and 7. I fully supported my wife staying home to raise them during their early years, though her housework (cooking, cleaning, etc) did not meet my expectations and this is a recurring theme that causes her a lot of stress.
I have not supported our decision to homeschool our daughter for the last two years. The first time it came up, hs was touted as a way to navigate the uncertainty of my job/our living situation. I gave in, because I knew that I'm a better loser than she is, and am better equipped to deal with not getting my way. It's not about winning, but we had a decision to make.
It came up again last Feb, with enrollment starting for this year. We had originally agreed to try it for one year but I sensed this was turning long-term. I was determined to put an end to this, shutting-down the possibility of any discussion. Of course, it didn't work. This time, the argument was way worse. she gave in but she was so hurt, that I ended up giving in a second time, same reason as before. Later, she told me that she probably would have taken the kids if I had insisted. Had I been more supportive, she reasons, it would have been easier for her to quit hsing. Nobody likes to be kicked in the @$$ on the way out. Applying pressure, like I did, seemed to backfire. On the other hand, I didn't want her to think I was ok with it.
That brings us to today. There's really no end in sight. It's the greatest source of saddness in my life right now, and I haven't even gotten into why.
I'll get to that, but for now, I have one question... Have you ever supported your spouse on something you couldn't agree on? I'm talking major issues. What was the outcome? How did you learn to live with it?
We have two wonderful kids, 5 and 7. I fully supported my wife staying home to raise them during their early years, though her housework (cooking, cleaning, etc) did not meet my expectations and this is a recurring theme that causes her a lot of stress.
I have not supported our decision to homeschool our daughter for the last two years. The first time it came up, hs was touted as a way to navigate the uncertainty of my job/our living situation. I gave in, because I knew that I'm a better loser than she is, and am better equipped to deal with not getting my way. It's not about winning, but we had a decision to make.
It came up again last Feb, with enrollment starting for this year. We had originally agreed to try it for one year but I sensed this was turning long-term. I was determined to put an end to this, shutting-down the possibility of any discussion. Of course, it didn't work. This time, the argument was way worse. she gave in but she was so hurt, that I ended up giving in a second time, same reason as before. Later, she told me that she probably would have taken the kids if I had insisted. Had I been more supportive, she reasons, it would have been easier for her to quit hsing. Nobody likes to be kicked in the @$$ on the way out. Applying pressure, like I did, seemed to backfire. On the other hand, I didn't want her to think I was ok with it.
That brings us to today. There's really no end in sight. It's the greatest source of saddness in my life right now, and I haven't even gotten into why.
I'll get to that, but for now, I have one question... Have you ever supported your spouse on something you couldn't agree on? I'm talking major issues. What was the outcome? How did you learn to live with it?