Holiday blues...

922 Views 5 Replies 4 Participants Last post by Cee Paul, Dec 4, 2012

Cee Paul

Discussion Starter · Dec 3, 2012

As a person who loves Christmas I do enjoy all the decorating, family time, great food, and gift exchanging; but as far as my home life it's quite depressing between my wife and I and 2013 does not look too promising for us. So more than likely this will be our last Christmas together because she's not even trying to fix things or is showing any interest.

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Memento

· #2 · Dec 3, 2012

Cee Paul said:
As a person who loves Christmas I do enjoy all the decorating, family time, great food, and gift exchanging; but as far as my home life it's quite depressing between my wife and I and 2013 does not look too promising for us. So more than likely this will be our last Christmas together because she's not even trying to fix things or is showing any interest.

Why are you waiting for her to initiate things? Why don't you?
Perhaps she thinks exactly the same way as you do. That you are not putting any effort either.

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Cee Paul

Discussion Starter · #3 · Dec 3, 2012

Memento said:
Why are you waiting for her to initiate things? Why don't you?
Perhaps she thinks exactly the same way as you do. That you are not putting any effort either.

Looks like you are fairly new here so you would have to go back and read about 100 of my posts from this past year to fully understand what's going on, because I have done several things to try and find a solution but she has done nothing pretty much and blames the entire marriage failure on me. Any counselor or therapist will tell you the very first step to fixing anything is to take......ownership(which I have openly with her a million times).

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unbelievable

· #4 · Dec 3, 2012

It's a day. Just a block of twenty-four segments of sixty minutes each. I've spent every holiday in Iraq, Panama, and assorted other places around the world for several years. I almost always have to work on Christmas and I will this year, too. Even if Bing Crosby doesn't show up with Egg Nog, even if you don't get your Red Ryder BB gun, even if the Grinch doesn't bring the gifts back, the day will pass and 26 Dec will be just another day at work. Don't dwell on the sentimentality of the day or try to stage some Normal Rockwell scene that pretends your life is all rosy when you know damned well it's not. I work more domestic violence and suicide cases on Christmas than any other day of the year. Go visit a nativity scene. Read the story of the birth of Christ. Do something nice for someone poor. Sing a few Christmas carols. The rest is media and commercial hype.

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jaquen

· #5 · Dec 3, 2012

I'd embrace what you love about this time of year, and try and delve into the spirit of the season and the holidays for your own self, marriage be damned. You say you love Christmas, I do too; for me it is not about a singular day, but an entire month (and sometimes longer) if enveloping myself spiritually and emotionally in warmth, good cheer, and joy. This time of year, if it's important to you, and has significance, can actually serve as a panacea to your problems, not exacerbation of them.

You say your home life depressing? Start doing the Christmasy things you enjoy by yourself; pray, watch films that lift you up, concentrate on the true meaning of the holiday, listen to music. And get out! There are lots of great activities during this time of year that will allow you to be around, and with, people who likewise get into the spirit of things.

Don't let a bad spot with one person rob you have what can be a totally wonderful time of the year.

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Cee Paul

Discussion Starter · #6 · Dec 4, 2012

jaquen said:
I'd embrace what you love about this time of year, and try and delve into the spirit of the season and the holidays for your own self, marriage be damned. You say you love Christmas, I do too; for me it is not about a singular day, but an entire month (and sometimes longer) if enveloping myself spiritually and emotionally in warmth, good cheer, and joy. This time of year, if it's important to you, and has significance, can actually serve as a panacea to your problems, not exacerbation of them.

You say your home life depressing? Start doing the Christmasy things you enjoy by yourself; pray, watch films that lift you up, concentrate on the true meaning of the holiday, listen to music. And get out! There are lots of great activities during this time of year that will allow you to be around, and with, people who likewise get into the spirit of things.

Don't let a bad spot with one person rob you have what can be a totally wonderful time of the year.

Oh trust me wether my wife is on board or not I am going to try and have a good Christmas, and who do you think did all of the decorating in those pics I posted down in the Social Spot section..........me.

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