[HD215]

Hello,

My husband is a wonderful man. I always suspected he was all over the place, but thought it was cute. We've been married since 8 months now and I have moved into his apartment, as our house needs major renovations.

We have been trying for children for years, and finally our wish came true. We couldn't be happier. Now that a child is on the way, we really need to make this place clean and safe.

I've asked him nicely to take care of his clutter countless number of times. He agrees, but never gets to it. He does work a lot, but I think our quality of living is also, if not more, important. Until a last week, when I lost it and started crying in discouragement, he was making us sleep in a foldable couch in his living room because his bed is up against the wall in his bedroom, because there is too much stuff. I can't get to the bedroom windows without having to go over stuff or tripping over other things.

How can I approach him in a way that will work?

 

[HD215]

Thanks Pistal, I know what you mean. But actually, when I do clean up one small area at a time, he seems pleased and reasonably participates in deciding what he wants to keep and what to throw out. It's far from the TV shows, but still taking too much energy on my part. If I don't say anything, then he doesn't mind the problem so I've got to push until it's done. Quite exhausting and not my job.

 

[SunnyT]

He needs counseling.

Is it only a one bedroom apartment?

Keep organizing....maybe that is something that he loves about you. Some people really do suck at cleaning and throwing things out. Which ends up looking like hoarding. But...some people don't mind if someone HELPS them. It is exhausting and can be frustrating if you are the cleaner/organizer.... but it might pay off. Keep pushing as long as he is ok with your help.

 

[anonfrank]

My wife has bipolar and has a tendency toward hoarding. Worse, she is disorganized in doing so, and her contribution to cleaning is keeping the bathrooms **** and span.

I have dealt with the issue by being the cleaner. Hard to do when I work 10-12 hours a day, but I try. This year, I decided to remodel the house. We just had our house repainted and I took the opportunity to make her pack her excess junk. In doing so, she actually helped to organize her stuff into what she needed currently and what she didn't need. My plan is to rent a storage space outside the house so it is out of site, out of mind.....and when it is forgotten, to donate or trash it.

It's a lot of energy to do this, but my plan to rid our house of her junk is in progress and starting to work!

To help the process along, I'm getting rid of my extra junk, only I'm directly donating or binning it, so it doesn't seem like she's alone.

HTH!