Joined
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2 Posts
Hi there, I'm the new gal on the block.
Been married 13 yrs, but living with him 17 yrs. He is 8 yrs older than me. I have 3 children, the oldest is grown, the younger two are with my husband and 11 and 12. I want out but afraid to ask for a divorice. There are soooo many reasons. Where do I begin?
He is grumpy and moody. A type A personality and a control freak. Never been abusive to me in a physical sense (my previous relationship was) but he is very controlling over everything (from finances to kids to how I empty the dishwasher). Ugh. Worse part is, our middle child (his only son) gets a lot of crap from my husband. He is bossy, and expects my son to be the best at everything. He loves him but is so hard on him and yes, when my son pushes back, my husband has gotten physical with him.
He has never held a job for very long, always job to job....Past 7 yrs, I have pretty much carried the entire financial burden. He says he cant find a job. Regardless, he has had probably over 12 or more jobs since I have known him and cant hold them.
Last year he got really sick (since he lost his job again....he had no health insurance) and that put us in dept THOUSANDS of dollars. Whats worse is they dont know what is wrong with him, only that he has some rare anemia, needs his spleen removed and they need to biospsy his neck. Of course, we have no money for any of that but it has to be done. Now, his teeth are falling out. Ugh.
I know that I made a vow, better or worse, sickness and health. But I feel so jaded. He is not only mean but a huge financial and emotional burden to me. I do not love him but stick with him because I don't want to tear up the family, I am afraid of being alone and I don't like to kick a man when he is down.
I want to divorce but understand that I might have to pay him support! (Which is not fair since he has been sponging off me all this time and I barley make the bills as it is). Also, I am afraid of him. Will he get violent? Do I just leave and take the kids? Or is that kidnapping? Do I have him served divorce papers at the dinner table and sit there like a sitting duck worried he might go crazy on me or the kids? How do I do this? He knows all my passwords, my ss #, etc...how do I know he doesn't harm me?
Where do I begin? I feel like I am stuck. Can anyone help?
Been married 13 yrs, but living with him 17 yrs. He is 8 yrs older than me. I have 3 children, the oldest is grown, the younger two are with my husband and 11 and 12. I want out but afraid to ask for a divorice. There are soooo many reasons. Where do I begin?
He is grumpy and moody. A type A personality and a control freak. Never been abusive to me in a physical sense (my previous relationship was) but he is very controlling over everything (from finances to kids to how I empty the dishwasher). Ugh. Worse part is, our middle child (his only son) gets a lot of crap from my husband. He is bossy, and expects my son to be the best at everything. He loves him but is so hard on him and yes, when my son pushes back, my husband has gotten physical with him.
He has never held a job for very long, always job to job....Past 7 yrs, I have pretty much carried the entire financial burden. He says he cant find a job. Regardless, he has had probably over 12 or more jobs since I have known him and cant hold them.
Last year he got really sick (since he lost his job again....he had no health insurance) and that put us in dept THOUSANDS of dollars. Whats worse is they dont know what is wrong with him, only that he has some rare anemia, needs his spleen removed and they need to biospsy his neck. Of course, we have no money for any of that but it has to be done. Now, his teeth are falling out. Ugh.
I know that I made a vow, better or worse, sickness and health. But I feel so jaded. He is not only mean but a huge financial and emotional burden to me. I do not love him but stick with him because I don't want to tear up the family, I am afraid of being alone and I don't like to kick a man when he is down.
I want to divorce but understand that I might have to pay him support! (Which is not fair since he has been sponging off me all this time and I barley make the bills as it is). Also, I am afraid of him. Will he get violent? Do I just leave and take the kids? Or is that kidnapping? Do I have him served divorce papers at the dinner table and sit there like a sitting duck worried he might go crazy on me or the kids? How do I do this? He knows all my passwords, my ss #, etc...how do I know he doesn't harm me?
Where do I begin? I feel like I am stuck. Can anyone help?