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h called, he knows I know now. First call in t months. He's been seeing someone. Met her in a bar while in Ireland. He's not working (self employed), things are going to **** for him. He's not sure if he wants to come back. He said what he did finished our marriage. He's been under huge stress. I'm not condoning or excusing what he did, but just laying out the facts. Our sex life had diminished to next to nothing over the last six months.

I asked him what he wants to do, he doesn't know. He will come back to England for work and said he will support me financially as best he can.

This was probably wrong, but I said I think I deserve to at least talk with him properly. This is th first contact in two months since he left. I want him back. I know he cheated on me but if he was prepared to work things through then I would too. He seems very confused. He said he's been drinking a lot. I asked him about this girl and said how does he feel and he said she seems pretty keen on me. I don't think he knows how he feels.

I'm devastated, angry, pissed off, in so much pain. He never talked to me before he left- I knew something was up as he was withdrawn and I would ask him what's on his mind. I never had th chance to talk about it or try to repair what was wrong.

I don't even know if he will come see me when he's back in England next week.
 
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