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If he is behind on CS then clearly his contribution is not supporting her life.

Firstly you partnered with a man with children, you have to learn to live with what comes with that.
You cannot control what he does and this is his issue not yours (although yes it is indirectly but it is really between them).

How do you know that she is buying all this stuff herself? Maybe her bf is buying the gifts for the kids etc. Is the ex telling you directly that she is buying these things with her own money or are you making assumptions?
 
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