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The only reason I say he didn't want out, is why was he reaching out to you so much. Then when you gave in and responded, he proceeded to want to continue the relationship on his terms that you need to treat him better.

He wanted a foot stool. Was he always that way? Was it from hurt in his marriage? Who knows, but that is my opinion on his behavior.


So, Kerrbear, read that book, know that you have worth, and deserve to be treated as a person on equal footing with who ever you are dating.
 

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I’m not sure what. He never got upset until this past month. It’s not like I started acting differently either? I think he just wanted out too
Your right he did.
You probably do have codependency issues as well.
Sometimes it's best to try and keep a broader view of your relationship.
It's easy to find people to tell you how terrible the other is on the internet.
But, no matter how good or bad or controlling it seems, There's only you who can fix you and make a better future.
Read " In sheeps Clothing" Learn how to spot and stop REAL narc behavior.
I've read these books mentioned here as well. They are good.
It's best it's over.
It's time to work on you...Start by cleaning up, literally.

BTW, you wanting validation (Why can't you agree this guys an ass like everyone else here) for your anger by wanting to know why I changed that post, is a sign you have work to do.
 

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Discussion Starter #83
The only reason I say he didn't want out, is why was he reaching out to you so much. Then when you gave in and responded, he proceeded to want to continue the relationship on his terms that you need to treat him better.

He wanted a foot stool. Was he always that way? Was it from hurt in his marriage? Who knows, but that is my opinion on his behavior.


So, Kerrbear, read that book, know that you have worth, and deserve to be treated as a person on equal footing with who ever you are dating.
He wasn’t always this way with me, only recently when things started to heat up in his divorce. Early on he kept telling me I’m too good for him and kept asking why I was with him. Ironically in the end I somehow wasn’t good enough.
 

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Discussion Starter #84
I’m not sure what. He never got upset until this past month. It’s not like I started acting differently either? I think he just wanted out too
Your right he did.
You probably do have codependency issues as well.
Sometimes it's best to try and keep a broader view of your relationship.
It's easy to find people to tell you how terrible the other is on the internet.
But, no matter how good or bad or controlling it seems, There's only you who can fix you and make a better future.
Read " In sheeps Clothing" Learn how to spot and stop REAL narc behavior.
I've read these books mentioned here as well. They are good.
It's best it's over.
It's time to work on you...Start by cleaning up, literally.

BTW, you wanting validation (Why can't you agree this guys an ass like everyone else here) for your anger by wanting to know why I changed that post, is a sign you have work to do.
I asked if the what I did was horrible enough to merit his behaviour. I’m not asking the Internet to say he’s a bad person or tell me what I did wasn’t irritating.

I wanted to know why you changed the quote because it seemed odd to do so vs just voice your own opinion.
 

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I guess I do. Keep thinking I’ll never meet anyone as great so I put up with a lot. I really did try to see his point of view but I can’t comprehend how me annoying him merits him dumping me like a piece of trash.
I would much rather spend my time looking for someone great than spend time with a nut case.

If you feel like a dumped piece of trash then it is time to move on.
 

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I asked if the what I did was horrible enough to merit his behaviour. I’m not asking the Internet to say he’s a bad person or tell me what I did wasn’t irritating.

I wanted to know why you changed the quote because it seemed odd to do so vs just voice your own opinion.
It's done all the time to make a point.
I'm glad you picked up on it.
"That I did was horrible enough to merit his behavior" Only you were there for that conversation. That's a tough call.
But hey...I'll be glad to call him an ass like everyone else....as if we were there.
 

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Discussion Starter #88
I asked if the what I did was horrible enough to merit his behaviour. I’m not asking the Internet to say he’s a bad person or tell me what I did wasn’t irritating.

I wanted to know why you changed the quote because it seemed odd to do so vs just voice your own opinion.
It's done all the time to make a point.
I'm glad you picked up on it.
"That I did was horrible enough to merit his behavior" Only you were there for that conversation. That's a tough call.
But hey...I'll be glad to call him an ass like everyone else....as if we were there.
Lol.

I don’t hate the guy I just don’t understand his point of view.
 

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Lol.

I don’t hate the guy I just don’t understand his point of view.
He probably has something in his childhood that's unresolved.
Plus if women and men understood each other completely this world would be a boring planet. :grin2:
 

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I'm sorry this didn't work out. I think you were sensible about the whole thing.

I will point out one aspect of the internet is that people tend to post things to make themselves look good, and you will see far more posts like "I wouldn't put up with this crap! Dump him!" than the other kind in any thread about an imperfect partner. At least now you don't have to wonder what would have happened if you'd tried to talk to him.
 
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