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I feel that is a ridiculous take on this scenario. If he was bothered by her interrupting, there is a proper way to handle that. She even admitted that maybe he was right and she did interrupt. However, he blew up, talked down to her, and broke off a 9 month relationship rather than have a civil discussion.

Then, when he broke up, he kept contacting her and seems surprised she did not reply. Hello??? He broke up with her. Finally when she did respond, he went back to talking down to her and why she was wrong.

Good riddance.
 

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I feel that is a ridiculous take on this scenario. If he was bothered by her interrupting, there is a proper way to handle that. She even admitted that maybe he was right and she did interrupt. However, he blew up, talked down to her, and broke off a 9 month relationship rather than have a civil discussion.

Then, when he broke up, he kept contacting her and seems surprised she did not reply. Hello??? He broke up with her. Finally when she did respond, he went back to talking down to her and why she was wrong.

Good riddance.
One should always look at themselves to see what could I have done better.
If he actually said she's not empathetic.....I don't know a man that would say those words and not mean it.
Do you?
2 peas in a pod.
 

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It’s just unfortunate because we got along so well otherwise. I might have enabled by always apologizing to smooth things over.
Do not blame yourself. Anger is in his make up and certainly has been there long before you started dating. No one called him out on it. Flipping out and then turn on the passive aggressive behavior is a problem he must deal with.
 

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Discussion Starter #64
I feel that is a ridiculous take on this scenario. If he was bothered by her interrupting, there is a proper way to handle that. She even admitted that maybe he was right and she did interrupt. However, he blew up, talked down to her, and broke off a 9 month relationship rather than have a civil discussion.

Then, when he broke up, he kept contacting her and seems surprised she did not reply. Hello??? He broke up with her. Finally when she did respond, he went back to talking down to her and why she was wrong.

Good riddance.
One should always look at themselves to see what could I have done better.
If he actually said she's not empathetic.....I don't know a man that would say those words and not mean it.
Do you?
2 peas in a pod.
I did say sorry over the phone and felt so bad I started crying. He started laughing and told me to stop being overly dramatic. I may be chatty and irritating at best but I’m not umepathetic. I was going to forgive him (like I have been the past month) and take him back but something in my gut told me not to. He’s been increasingly argumentative this past month and it’s culminated in this. There have been a few other things that happened that I have not mentioned. If anything I think I have problems in letting people walk all over me and letting go.
 

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One should always look at themselves to see what could I have done better.
If he actually said she's not empathetic.....I don't know a man that would say those words and not mean it.
Do you?
2 peas in a pod.
I know it is difficult to comprehend.....

But there are times when it really ISN'T the woman's fault....
 

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I did say sorry over the phone and felt so bad I started crying. He started laughing and told me to stop being overly dramatic. I may be chatty and irritating at best but I’m not umepathetic. I was going to forgive him (like I have been the past month) and take him back but something in my gut told me not to. He’s been increasingly argumentative this past month and it’s culminated in this. There have been a few other things that happened that I have not mentioned. If anything I think I have problems in letting people walk all over me and letting go.
Figured.
 

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I know it is difficult to comprehend.....

But there are times when it really ISN'T the OTHERS fault....
FIXT. This story was missing way too much and things didn't add up to me from the beginning.
Sorry.
 

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Discussion Starter #71
I did say sorry over the phone and felt so bad I started crying. He started laughing and told me to stop being overly dramatic. I may be chatty and irritating at best but I’m not umepathetic. I was going to forgive him (like I have been the past month) and take him back but something in my gut told me not to. He’s been increasingly argumentative this past month and it’s culminated in this. There have been a few other things that happened that I have not mentioned. If anything I think I have problems in letting people walk all over me and letting go.
Figured.
Yes he’s hung up on me mid sentence because he was tired once. A relative of mine died and he told me that I was being overly sensitive by getting so upset over it. If I didn’t text him back in time or answer a call because I was busy he’d get upset. Each and every time I apologized to keep the peace thinking he deserves a break because he’s stressed out from the separation.
 

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Narcissists do it all the time.

So do controlling people.

As well as gaslighters.
I lived with a Narc for 25 years...I never once heard her use the term "Empathetic"
They can't even conceive of the term.
They surely don't know how to use it properly.

Narcissists, Gaslighters, All the time, etc......
Don’t use language instrumentally.
 

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Discussion Starter #75
Narcissists do it all the time.

So do controlling people.

As well as gaslighters.
I lived with a Narc for 25 years...I never once heard her use the term "Empathetic"
They can't even conceive of the term.
They surely don't know how to use it properly.

Narcissists, Gaslighters, All the time, etc......
Don’t use language instrumentally.
He kept claiming his ex was a narc so not sure if that’s of any relevance.

I don’t think he was a narc though, that’s extreme. A little self centred maybe as he is an only child. When things went his way was he was a pleasure to be around
 

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Why did you change personofinterest’s quote? They stated “the woman’s fault”.
Well, People here love to point fingers..and
Because if you expect your life to be better tomorrow than it is today, you must change the only thing you can.
Yourself.
Ask yourself "What could I have done better" whether he's an ass or not.
Or next time will be a repeat.
"If you cannot understand why someone did something, look at the consequences—and infer the motivation" ..... Sounds like he wanted out.
 

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Yes he’s hung up on me mid sentence because he was tired once. A relative of mine died and he told me that I was being overly sensitive by getting so upset over it. If I didn’t text him back in time or answer a call because I was busy he’d get upset. Each and every time I apologized to keep the peace thinking he deserves a break because he’s stressed out from the separation.
That is controlling behavior. Kerrbear, cut ties and stop catering to his insecurities. He will not change and you won't change him.
 

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Discussion Starter #78
Why did you change personofinterest’s quote? They stated “the woman’s fault”.
Well, People here love to point fingers..and
Because if you expect your life to be better tomorrow than it is today, you must change the only thing you can.
Yourself.
Ask yourself "What could I have done better" whether he's an ass or not.
Or next time will be a repeat.
"If you cannot understand why someone did something, look at the consequences—and infer the motivation" ..... Sounds like he wanted out.
I’m not sure what. He never got upset until this past month. It’s not like I started acting differently either? I think he just wanted out too
 

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Sounds like he wanted out.
I don't think he wanted out. He wanted to exert his control as the relationship was progressing. If she rebelled, he wants out. He wants what he wants, and he didn't get it, so he left.

She is now a mess feeling like it was her fault, and while I would guess she has some codependency issues and certainly has tolerated far more than she should have, it wasn't her fault.

Her only fault is that she did not end it the first time he was a jerk.

I am not sure what you are trying to prove here StillSearching.
 

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Discussion Starter #80
Sounds like he wanted out.
I don't think he wanted out. He wanted to exert his control as the relationship was progressing. If she rebelled, he wants out. He wants what he wants, and he didn't get it, so he left.

She is now a mess feeling like it was her fault, and while I would guess she has some codependency issues and certainly has tolerated far more than she should have, it wasn't her fault.

Her only fault is that she did not end it the first time he was a jerk.

I am not sure what you are trying to prove here StillSearching.
I guess I do. Keep thinking I’ll never meet anyone as great so I put up with a lot. I really did try to see his point of view but I can’t comprehend how me annoying him merits him dumping me like a piece of trash.
 
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