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Yes I outsourced, but it is mostly physical, not emotional. I don't think about this person all the time and I don't text her either in ways that people get caught. I'm not thinking of a future with this person. It is not someone I am friends with.

I'm not looking validation or sympathy of what I am doing. And if this will blow up in front in my face, I will deal with that too. If I decided to go thru for a divorce, it will cost me financially and right now and it will probably ruin my chances for early retirement.



Maybe you and I have a different view of Marriage. I want to stay because I have a commitment for the kids, and not for my W.
So to put it all in a nutshell. Your wife doesn't bend over, you will do whatever it takes to get your needs met (including cheating) and in spite of your delusional statement about being committed to marriage, you are really only committed to this marriage because you might be taken to the cleaners financially if you divorce. It is amazing how people like you lie to yourself. You are in denial. Everything here is about YOU YOU and YOU some more. You don't give a **** about the kids, because the relationship with their mother has changed and they will know it.

Be a man, own your ****! I assume you have gone through your 16-year marriage blaming your wife, how much effort have you actually put into the marriage, how much time have you given your wife. It obviously took effort to court and bed the OW, maybe if you spent more time watering your garden at home it would yield more.
You come across as a selfish self-centered human being, I really don't know what you want from us. Perhaps someone to slap you on the back and tell you you are doing the right thing?
Imagine explaining this to your own mother or your kids, how do you think it would sound. Time for you to stop thinking with your **** and start working on your inner man.

You should
1. Tell your wife you want a divorce
2. Be honest and say you cheated, let the chips fall where they may
3. Explain to your kids (I am sure hey are old enough, that you don't love mummy anymore and you want to explore other gardens)
4. Your wife probably already knows, let her make the decision for you, hopefully, she will set you free.
5. Get a good lawyer and tell your wife to do the same
6. You are doing no one any favors by cheating and sneaking around, better you end the marriage so everyone can move on and be authentic
 

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"A loving wife" is a joke. My Wife treats me like crap because she gets pissed off when I don't do whatever she says. She doesn't cares about my priorities but I have care about hers. At this point, we are just like roommates. And I did confront my wife about this issue and she doesn't care about every other thing that I said anyways, but she just wants to make it look like I am the problem.

Like I said, I will probably stay for maybe about 8-13 years and I will probably be out. Maybe my kids will find out, maybe they won't, but I have done this for years and so far I haven't been caught.

Another thing I consider is what happens when I get divorced. At this point, I am kind of jaded about the whole marriage thing, probably won't get married again. I think if I get divorced, I will be miserable and alone, just too much of a pain to get into another relationship.
OMG, you really are a piece of work. Its all about ME< ME ME ME ME.

My Wife treats me like crap because she gets pissed off when I don't do whatever she says Could you be more explicit about this exactly? Is is because you go out late, dont come home to be with the family, etc? I guess in order to sleep around for many years like you say, you would have to split your time for the family. But hey you have needs so she should just get with your programme. Do you hear yourself?

At this point, we are just like roommates YUP, that usually happens when you are out ****ing around with OW, wives usually don't really welcome their husbands home with open arms when they know in their gut what is happening.


I will be miserable and alone ........... "oh woe is me..." This is all BS.
"I have done this for years and I haven't been caught" I guarentee your wife already knows that you are a POS and decides to stay in the marriage because of the kids and the financial security, women know these things and that is why she wont sleep with you, she knows you are a man ***** and she might catch something from you.

just too much of a pain to get into another relationship God forbid you might have to put any effort into a relationship with a woman. No wonder your marriage is on the rocks as you put it. You really would be a prize catch. Why dont you just divorce and sleep with prostitutes. Sounds to me like your wife is far too good for you.
 

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OMG, you really are a piece of work. Its all about ME< ME ME ME ME.

My Wife treats me like crap because she gets pissed off when I don't do whatever she says Could you be more explicit about this exactly? Is is because you go out late, dont come home to be with the family, etc? I guess in order to sleep around for many years like you say, you would have to split your time for the family. But hey you have needs so she should just get with your programme. Do you hear yourself?

At this point, we are just like roommates YUP, that usually happens when you are out ****ing around with OW, wives usually don't really welcome their husbands home with open arms when they know in their gut what is happening.


I will be miserable and alone ........... "oh woe is me..." This is all BS.
"I have done this for years and I haven't been caught" I guarentee your wife already knows that you are a POS and decides to stay in the marriage because of the kids and the financial security, women know these things and that is why she wont sleep with you, she knows you are a man ***** and she might catch something from you.

just too much of a pain to get into another relationship God forbid you might have to put any effort into a relationship with a woman. No wonder your marriage is on the rocks as you put it. You really would be a prize catch. Why dont you just divorce and sleep with prostitutes. Sounds to me like your wife is far too good for you.
Whenever I hear or read the "ME, ME, ME" stuff I always think of this song by The Muppets:-

 
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