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So, my fiancee and I are really a good couple. We share a lot in common and I'd say about 90% of the time we get along. However, we have one big problem - communication, in various forms. My biggest concern right now with her is after I've asked her not to console, or talk about our personal relationship problems to her mother, best friend, and now dad, she continues to do it, while deleting the conversations she has with them so that I won't see that she did. It wouldn't bother me so much if it were just her mother, but it's begining to get to everyone.

Her and I read each other's phone messages, and this is how I know, but we only do this because of an occasion where she had been sending pictures of herself to another married man (who just wanted pictures and was much older, but was only interested in pictures - since he confessed that to her not even knowing I had read the conversations they had), while in the relationship with me. Now, this was a man, according to her, that she had known before meeting me, and he had owed her money from a previous transaction, so she was just trying to get it. She hasn't talked to him since, as far as I know, but that's where the phone trust comes in.

That's not even the problem though. The problem is she won't come to me and tell me anything I'm doing wrong, even when I ask her, but she turns around and tells her mother or best friend, or even dad, that something bothers her, etc. I don't understand this logic. And then she gets really defensive when I ever bring anything up I don't feel comfortable about, and then victimizes herself like I'm the bad guy for trying to talk to her. Like, I'll say, "is there something bothering you?", and she'll be like, "why would you think that? You make it sound like I'm being a *****, or that I'm just an ungrateful *****"...And, all I say in reply is, "no, I just want to make sure cause you've seemed a little distant"..Then, she says something like, "You always make me feel like I'm this ungrateful person you're with"..All because I simply wanted to make sure she was okay.

Anyway, my question is, is it normal, and should it be okay, for her to tell our problems and issues to other people? The way she does it is like she's completely innocent of anything, and like I'm always the bad guy, so when those people come around I look like the bad guy. Just the other day, her dad told her he'd fix her car but wanted to make sure she was the only one to drive it. I have my own truck, mind you, and just the level of disrespect is ridiculous. What do I do? I'm so frustrated. If I come to her and try and make any progress, she's going to blowup again and act like I'm just an so unhappy with her, but that's not it at all. I am happy with her, but she's just so shady and secretive about stuff. She'll say she will stop going around saying stuff, but then she does it still..Any help would be great!
 

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Women expect men to understand things. She is telling her family those things out of frustration that you don't 'get' her. Try to be friendly with her family and learn more about her. But I have understood it the hard way that men need to pick things up before it is too late. There will always be others ready to pick on those vulnerabilities.
 

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Women expect men to understand things. She is telling her family those things out of frustration that you don't 'get' her. Try to be friendly with her family and learn more about her. But I have understood it the hard way that men need to pick things up before it is too late. There will always be others ready to pick on those vulnerabilities.
I agree with the statement be friendly with her family.
That way he, to can talk about their problems.
Her sending nude pic's and so on. And ask for advice on what to
Do..You should also talk to your friends about it to..
 
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