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When divorce is mentioned by a spouse, has anyone gone from being the one who didn't want the divorce to being the one who is now considering it?
My husband told me he wanted a divorce. Then he decided he needed more time because he wasn't sure if thats what he wanted. Now he flip flops from being nice, to flat out being a jerk. I understand he's trying to gain power and control and maybe he feels like because he's the one who is considering the divorce, the ball is in his court, that he has every right to be mean because if I say or do anything he doesn't like, then he will throw that in my face. I have tried being civil, and I've also tried backing off completely and not speaking to him, and I've tried his approach to pretend everything is fine at times. He goes days completely avoiding me and igoring but got really mad when I did that. But no matter what direction I come from, he seems to always come back to being the jerk, who will do what he wants when he wants and treat me however because again he has the power because he knows I don't want the divorce. But this man is not my husband. I do not know this man. He is like a complete stranger to me and I have gotten to the point that I'm tired of the game. I'm almost to the point of saying, "If you want to act like this, here's your divorce." I think (he hasn't voiced this) that he expects me to do all the work to fix our marriage and to kiss his ass and then things will be fine. When in reality we didn't get to this point because of just me, and it takes more than just me to fix things.
Is this a typical feeling that most go through when you're the one who didn't want a divorce to begin with??? I love my husband very much, I don't want to end things. But how long does one put up with this???
My husband told me he wanted a divorce. Then he decided he needed more time because he wasn't sure if thats what he wanted. Now he flip flops from being nice, to flat out being a jerk. I understand he's trying to gain power and control and maybe he feels like because he's the one who is considering the divorce, the ball is in his court, that he has every right to be mean because if I say or do anything he doesn't like, then he will throw that in my face. I have tried being civil, and I've also tried backing off completely and not speaking to him, and I've tried his approach to pretend everything is fine at times. He goes days completely avoiding me and igoring but got really mad when I did that. But no matter what direction I come from, he seems to always come back to being the jerk, who will do what he wants when he wants and treat me however because again he has the power because he knows I don't want the divorce. But this man is not my husband. I do not know this man. He is like a complete stranger to me and I have gotten to the point that I'm tired of the game. I'm almost to the point of saying, "If you want to act like this, here's your divorce." I think (he hasn't voiced this) that he expects me to do all the work to fix our marriage and to kiss his ass and then things will be fine. When in reality we didn't get to this point because of just me, and it takes more than just me to fix things.
Is this a typical feeling that most go through when you're the one who didn't want a divorce to begin with??? I love my husband very much, I don't want to end things. But how long does one put up with this???