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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
My lying husband just left. About five minutes ago. I will post my thoughts and recall what just happened through my post.
I went to my first class of the semester tonight. All went well, I really enjoyed it.
I came home, talked about some interesting things I learned tonight. H goes outside for a cigarette while I check my laptop. While he's gone I find my history has been deleted, and he installed a "Recover my filers" program. When he gets back inside I ask him WTF he was doing on my laptop and why he cleared my history. I said WTF is this? Why were you trying to restore my files?? (I just got this lap top YESTERDAY) He said it's because I deleted my history and he said he wanted to see it.
I said, no, I didn't delete my history. And even if I DID delete my history it's none of your damn business because you delete your phone's history ALL.THE.TIME.
So we got into a debate about that, going back and forth about going through each other's crap.I finally said it pisses me off because I'm not the one doing anything!
Fast forward about 5 or 10 minutes, I finally told him that I don't trust him and i -know- he is still talking to people online and has accounts. He says he knows I was watching him and that's why he made the accounts. I literally started laughing.
I asked him how many accounts he's made in the last month and he said like 30 (just to fck with me)
Because he knew I was watching him.

I said, oh really.... I JUST logged into your POF account TODAY. I just found out about it TODAY.

And for the record you guys, I've only been watching for about a week and he had no idea. Lol.

Anyways, I told him for the past week or so I've been contemplating what will happen as far as separation. I told him don't wory you will get to see your son. Come over and spend some time with him everyday, it's totally cool. He tells me he loves me and he can't live with out me.

Asked me if i want him to leave and I said I will never be able to trust him. He offered getting rid of his smartphone and not using internet anymore to win my trust back. Told him it's not gonna happen, I tried reconciling before and just got stabbed in the back and I can't take it anymore.

Fast forward some more, he left.

Here's to preparing for a long night of manipulation and stupid lies and denial. I don't want him to try slithering back into my life. I told him i'm not even happy anymore.

I'm half dead.
He just texted me. Here it goes.....

Edit to add:
He told me he wasn't even cheating.
I told him a lot of people consider it cheating and I don't like it one bit either. I said it's not my style and I asked him to stop before and he promised he would but he didn't. I don't like that either.
I told him I think he has an addiction. He got all.... weird. He said 'i'm just going to go you think i'm a total pervert or whatever" completely denying it.

And now: He is just driving around because there's no room at his parents house. All the bedrooms are full (his aunt and his brother are currently living in the extra rooms.)

I don't want to be by him. I don't want to let him be here because he has nowhere to go. I don't want him face to face with me trying to feed me stupid bul**** anymore!
 

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Well... how about you not respond and go to sleep? Drink some NyQuil and conk-out. Gather some of your strength. I doubt he has anything important to say, anyway.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
He thinks I was watching him through google, which I wasn't...
Which goes to show he didn't have a clue i was watching him. I even told him it wasn't through google... but somehow he didn't catch that.
 

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Your partner sounds much like my ex. He's making excuses and blaming you which is total manipulation. Now he's trying to make you feel sorry for him so he can play the victim. Your partner created the mess that he's in, it is not your job to dig him out of it.

I'd suggest you turn off your cell and turn the ringer off of your land-line for the night. There is no need to participate in a cyclical argument full of his manipulations and lies. Get some rest and focus on your son.

Take some time to think of boundaries that you'd like to establish. Write them down if need be and think things through with a clear head. Make those the topic of any future conversations. Unless he wants to be honest, accountable and apologetic, there is really no need to hear what he has to say.
 
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Discussion Starter #10
I did tell him to get f**ked. Also to get a hotel, he's harshing my mellow and to STFU.
He's begging me to take him back, we're going to get old together.
He wants to come back to sleep with our son.
Ugh.

Thanks guys.
 

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Let me get this right. You have been tracking his on line action for a week or so?
Who was he screwing and do you know who she (or he) is and where they work?
If he wasn't involved in any physical activity with another person, you sure are good at discovery before your "cheater" can stray very far.:rolleyes:
 

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Discussion Starter #14
He thinks it's harmless. He doesn't consider it cheating.
WHY THE HELL WAS HE PUTTING FILE RECOVERY ON MY COMPUTER.
WTF!
What could he even find with that? Lol, seriously.
I got this laptop yesterday.

And he thinks since he wasn't using his real identity it's all ****ing gravy.
 

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"I have a fetish for cheating"

Well that's encouraging........
My thoughts exactly....I find it interesting that he used the word "pervert" to describe how he thinks YOU think of HIM...well, anyone sick enough to create mock profiles and string along single women, including their sister-in-law, not sure what other word to use.

It's sad how serious his problems are. He's absolutely pathetic.
 

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Hope you were able to sleep. This just reminds me of some of the same crap my H pulled years ago.. just before we separated in 2010. He discovered online personals, for "attention". Ended up in counseling where our counselor spelled out what "cheating" is in a marriage and would you know he still didn't stop browsing personals or communicating with these skanks? And the marriage was over. Went back to counseling and she spelled that out too.

We had withdrawn our entire divorce case and he was still playing online :( He did stop at the point I contacted my previous divorce attorney to refile.. things changed, not just the browsing.. but a lot of other stuff. My H use to pick fights to leave the house.. he would text me things like yours does.. "I need you", "I love you", "I'm sorry".. blah, it gets old.

And here we are. We no longer have high speed internet, or a computer laying around to jump online, we have complete transparency on both sides. I don't know if he would classify it as an addiction he was falling into, but he certainly knows it was harming our marriage and his time with the babies.

Good luck to you!
 

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